..Ben, Ben, Cal, Mel..

oh my gosh tmr sux... dreading tmr. ugh.

wth la... i have 7 periods tmr!!! -.- 7 hours. two lectures 4 tutorials and PE. zz wat a tiring day ahead. zz why is my lit lesson always at the 4 o'clock slot. dat sux man. totally. and my PE is at 2! wth wat they want us to do?! starve, faint and die arh. baakas all of em. rather sick timetable man...

lolz bitch forever. finished at 11 today but waited for e class until 12 for lunch, then waited some more for ivan (lolz ben goh he's e one who always go and say hi to u for no reason at all -.-) to go home with me. bleh he said 1.30 but he finished at 2 so i was getting a little irritated already but i tink e wait more than paid off. so nice to just go home together and update each other on our lives.

anyway there's this quote i read somewhere... "i got a better bargain, because i merely lost someone who doesn't like me, but he lost someone who does like him." this is in response to uh... aiya nvm. just tot i'd reflect on it... i tot it was a true statement... but then doesn't it mean that he'd feel nothing but u'd feel e pain of loss? in a sense he lost nothing...he just never gained anything while u suffered a wound... an emptiness u're painfully aware of. dat line of thought is merely a way to mask and dim e pain. delusional. then again if an empiness can't be filled up... wat better way to cope with it than to hide it.

lolz i can imagine ppl who read this will be thinking it will be so out of e blue... while those that know where e quote came from will think that this reasoning is so harsh. sometimes i really wonder what it would be like to be simple. ignorant. bliss? yea probably. even perhaps have something close to blind faith. and lose e insight? e thinking? e questioning and e answers that come? definitely not. as radical as all e questions might be... as often as i myself am shaken by e things i ask and e answers i get, e understanding that comes really helps to make me appreciate things so much more.

my bro said (i always talk about all these kinda theory stuff with him) that ppl like me and him who indulge in all this 'philosophy' and 'theori-zing' merely do it for e matter of intellectual pride. but den if u know that it is for pride... den won't u take steps to ensure dat its for something more? for making life better? happier? more at-peace?

question yea. so many of em. scared of e answers sometimes.(lolz so cool talking everything fullstop!!! ivan said my post was so recognizable cos of all the "..." i used. lolz that one really habit le)

MeL stepped on your garbage at 6:04 PM