..Ben, Ben, Cal, Mel..

a reflection on life now...

mm ok life now's good... absolutely fine (i think). the class is totally great i think my class rox... e ppl are really nice... but then ok maybe just haven't get to know them yet... not being cynical but then i guess things will open up more when i get to know them better...

apart from class, there's family. in this area... hm can't say too much but i guess things are just great. everyone's still caring and yup... basically all thx to my bro for pulling 3 of us siblings so much closer together again...

band? band's just great too the ppl there are so fun to hang arnd with... really really outgoing and ppl who laugh so often and mm just brings smiles to everyone's faces yea?

workload... workload haven't really been piling up and it's really a lot less compared to sec school. tutorials are manageable and altho lectures are boring and somestimes things aren't easy to understand, i'm usually able to get things worked out and everything just falls in place rather neatly at e end of e day. along with cca and the incoming cip, i think i'll still have quite a bit of time to myself for my own purpose i.e. reading, reflecting, dotaing, blogging etc...

all in all... i'm really pleased with things right now... can't ask for much more. life's just going so well... smooth and easy... but somehow i think it'll change... not only when tests come, but when ppl open and characters are revealed... then again it's up to me to make out what i wanna make of ppl isn't it. so maybe life still can be smooth and easy. *lolz casually glances at ben goh's msn and see his status as (asleep)*

but..wats missing... i feel something's still missing in life. not that i'm not contented and grateful for so much i've been given... but i still find myself looking for more. cip, dancing, sea sports, aikido... are they all just a form of proving something to someone? myself? or maybe a way to live life fuller? or wad??!! aiyo why do i hunger??

aunty anula and i talked about wat i was gonna be when i grow up... just somehow ran into that topic. and i realize i have no inkling. not even whether i was going into the sciences or the arts. wat do i want my life to be about??? wat am i gonna make out of life?

lolz teenage angst? today i found out e meaning of angst. such a crude word to explain a process so methodological and important. ppl dismiss this phase of questioning as angst and merely say that it'll pass and things will return to normal... but e qns are still unanswered eh? they're just simply left aside and ignored... and we continue day to day life worrying about details and seeing the steps infront of us instead of e goal at e end. e qns are so impt... they lead us to a meaningful life.

MeL stepped on your garbage at 6:58 PM