..Ben, Ben, Cal, Mel..

church camp. and a tempo.

hey hey just returned from church camp... and it was really an experience. not my first time going for a church camp... but it's the first time that i'm in church camp being a leader instead of a participant... so guess it's an entirely new experience.

lolz some new terms here so just bear with me and uh if u'll don't understand wat i'm talking abt just heck or can ask me or smth. i guess the major difference in being a leader and being a participant is that now, i'm the one that's gotta lead the discussion and sharings... and gosh it's sooooo challenging. awkward silences are kinda taboo in sharing sessions so it's kinda my job to fill up silences with questions to probe the students and all...

and most heavy on my mind was the responsibility. church camp is usually the time when the students have their 'leap of faith'... and it's like their huge step towards growing closer to God and all... so yea i just felt so much responsibility and was very troubled if i was adequate enough to lead the students... cos after all this is a life-impacting and turning-poin-in-life kinda situation. and i kept wondering like "oh no if i didn't do a good enough job then the students are gonna miss out on a whole new experience cos of my incompetence" and yea plagued by doubts of myself.

i'm not sure if u'll are familiar with these kinda things... but at this point of time, intellect has such a small role to play. it's all about EQ... knowing what to say and when to say it, knowing how to reach out to people and haiz team dynamics and being sensitive and all...

i just really hoped i did good in the camp... and made a difference in the students.

and now on to atempo... a tempo was fantastic. i dono how we sounded professionally, but i know i really really enjoyed it and the audience enjoyed it a lot too and that's really just enough for me. just that i had been wearing my contact lenses for so long and i almost got a headache (thank god for denise's panadol) and was feeling so super duper lethargic during practice cos i ate half a packet of maggi mee -.- i cooked maggi mee for myself before goign to school and the maggi mee sucked like shit so i didn't eat half of it. yuck.

and yea on to e farewell part of a tempo and investiture... e day after a tempo i was just suddenly felt so sad that things were going to change. our whole row... people i sit next to in concert... band leaders and so many other things. i guess i just got so comfortable with the situation. but not only that i think in all my years... i've never gotten close to seniors. never ever. my seniors just same :) i'm a good junior and i respect my seniors but that's that and that's all. somehow this year i just got so much closer to two of my seniors, denise and joy and it's been so great knowing them and all. usually concert is just ok we sit there and mr oura scolds ppl and sometimes i fall asleep and sometimes i'm just stoning. but now there's ppl to talk to... and every concert is just so much more animated and lively and haizzzz i'm so gonna miss all of that.

oh and i'm definitely not excited about being sl -.- ugh

such a long and drawn out post... did u'll read thru everything?? lolz congrats if u did.

MeL stepped on your garbage at 9:34 PM