..Ben, Ben, Cal, Mel..

monday blues

omg today is just sian. zz youth day stay at home it's mega sad sobz. i feel sooooo pathetic.

ok so i woke up at 10 and ate breakfast and i watched constantine. understood the show so much better with subtitles and all... but still a rather meaningless activity.

then i dono wat happened in the time leading up to the point when i watched sytycd and aiya ok basically today was a damn boring day. only highlight was watching sytycd and ben came over to watch cos his moniter spoilt. but THATS ALL and omg for a public holiday that's really sad case.

lolz another analogy of life if u will... altho it's ben's. but i think it's just so appropriate that wanna share it with e two of u also. the comparison of life to physical geog... more specifically the weathering of a rock. benny cal u'll take geog so lolz not alien to u guys right. and a rock's face is constantly changing, eroded by wind, water and stuff that physical geog has neatly termed 'agents of change'. so hmm wat is a rock's true shape? wat is our identity when everything around us is influencing us to change? shall quote my diary... thot abt this before.

"What changes in a person? Fluidity. The implications of any view of human nature is staggering. Do we change? Do we have an identity and personality? Do we have an innate self or can we change our character at will? So fundamental to defining our lives and yet such an elusive answer that we all have to find in order to live life better. "

does it disturb u guys? or am i the only one bothered by our fluid or unfluid nature? ok maybe we don't even have to find out the answer.

recently been hit by quite a few surges of nostalgia (hmm is dat the word?) cos it's been so long since i went to play bmt with the mushroomers and i went yesterday... and really didn't realize how much i've been missing old friends until i went back to play. and it was so good just seeing old familiar faces again... wats more was that we recounted past experiences together and brought back so many fond memories. it's really not the same remembering on your own. when you recount with someone the feelings you felt then erupt again and haiz talking abt the past reforges the bond we shared. and for a moment i guess the link was made again... and of course old classmates as well. feels so good to renew old friendships and all.

lolz i make it sound that my life is so enriched with so much friendships and all but really i think i'm just an average guy with friends that everyone has... sometimes i start to compare myself with other ppl and i wanna feel like my life is so much more superior but i guess it's just delusional. true deep delusions. bordering on arrogance. and haiz how do we even compare lives?

never really intended for the post to be this long but stuff just kept coming out...

MeL stepped on your garbage at 10:28 PM