ben, ben, cal, mel

putumayo~

2008-01-06T11:20:00.000+08:00

shockZ. faintZ. v shameless~ plugZ out phone some more tsk tsk.

ns is comingggggggggg. and i have a putumayo calendar! ahahahaha.

2008-01-04T01:38:00.000+08:00

hahahaha ponned band chalet~!

Hope you all are having fun!

Happy new year~~!

8 months later...

2007-11-10T10:04:00.001+08:00

=)

can u feel it? the end is nearrrrrrrrrr. the Age of PokerZ will be upon us.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAL

2007-03-04T20:48:00.001+08:00

aiya quite sad my posts here reduced to birthday wishes only. but yes HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAL!! thanks for bringing so much life and amusement to our section always, and for also being a confidante that i can be comfortable with. haiz ur bday preludes our hell week... next week is AHHH everyone's gonna die. wishing you (and everybody else) all the best for next week (i think all of us need blessings), and of course in every other time and everything else. peace and happiness! my favorite (and overused) wishes but seriously... i've always considered them as most impt. peace. happiness. mm :) feel very incoherent :(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENNY

2007-02-05T18:36:00.000+08:00

lolz the blog is so neglected but anyway. yes. HAPPY 18TH BENNY!! sweet 18 :) ok that sounds so weird. i am seventeen going on eighteen. lalalalalala I RAN 8KM YESTERDAY YES OMG CAN U BELIEVE IT! i feel like i'm sec 3 again. but yes benny our dearest wishes to ya... for always being the 'nice guy' among the 4 of us. the gentleman, ever willing to help, never bitching (sobz unlike we 3... ok la cannot defame ourselves), and just so... pure :) God bless ya always with peace and happiness... u deserve it!

our f4 stayover is longgg overdue lolz i shall organize one soon... i hope. something like that la. remind me from time to time.

p.s. sobz srry this year i'm exhausted of ideas for gifts... oh benny ben suggested buying the ichigo sword for u as a batch present... the life size bankai full-black wooden sword. and i firmly supported the idea!!! but it was extinguished by jy's torrent of objections :(

merry christmas f4!!

2006-12-25T17:58:00.000+08:00

hey everyone!! just wanna wish u guys a more sincere merry christmas :) the one in my msg sounded so cliche-ish. one year has gone... some of it great, some of it not so great but it sure as hell went by damn quickly. no matter wat it was, how far we've drifted and stuff, it felt really really heartwarming to see the first and ONLY few messages were from u guys when i checked my phone after my midnight mass so... thanks for the effort :) and thanks for everything else that u'll have given me this year. e comfort, the friendship, e lessons and e gifts.

friends forever,
~mel~

i'm blue

2006-11-16T10:57:00.000+08:00

I'M BLUE DABADEE DABADOO DABADA DEE DABADOO.

lolz uh i'm heavily counting on the fact that no one visits this blog anymore except us? cos we declared it dead and revived it and told no one. right?

so yes i can talk freely here. as can all of u. i think... bububabibu. gagabobo. bubotuber pus. i was madly obsessed with the word bubotuber pus in around sec 3 i think. i'd compete with my classmates to see who could say bubotuber pus the fastest. lolz just read thru my end of sec 3 diaries... wondering if i should like... make use of them to relate to my students. i have to reach out to them...

142421422

2006-11-14T21:24:00.000+08:00

tamtamtamtam!tamtamtamtam!Ihavenoidea!WhyI'msingggingaweddingsong.

HEY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEL!!!!

iknowthatyou'regettingtorturedbyki.butu'llbefreeafterthatsoyoumust!hangon

oh. badminton rocked. but my right arm is dying now. wtf. no i meant, wth. yes.

2006-11-07T00:19:00.000+08:00

just. finished. editing my freaking pw. Yes. 2 more days. Live!

blogger sux

2006-11-05T20:43:00.000+08:00

haha its the holidays!!!! and i am so bored. but got pw. yucks.

So anyways, i realise i haven been going for band outings lol. But instead, more of class outings. Thats like completely opposite of my days in RI. I guess the kind of comfort that I felt in RIMB sort of ... erm.... disappeared in RJCSB. Wadever reason causes this, i am still trying to find out. Haha maybe its just some psychological thingy? Dunno lar.

I realise i am becoming more and more dao lol. Haiz i am forever stuck in my own world in school, thinking about wierd things all day. Ahhh I want to watch movie.

Go eat fruit.

XD

2006-10-30T12:33:00.000+08:00

Hey! It's been a while, hasn't it? Trying hard not to sound too emo- here, but I just have to say that I kinda miss you guys. It isn't a mere name, or the superfluous prestige of being part of a fraternity of sorts that has bonded us together and kept our friendship going. Sometimes I did feel that we weren't exactly that close right from the beginning (it probably is true), and that it was too early for us to come together and establish a joint blog - how are we expected to communicate at all, when it's a pub blog? This place grew silent after a while, but I thought that it was only natural. There's not much point grumbling and troubling over this decline right. especially since we're no longer part of rimb. I personally have completely lost my loyalty for band. The only reason why I'm still turning up is cos the band is in lack of saxes, and cos of oura. We have our own lives to lead now. And moving on isn't a bad thing at all. It gets increasingly difficult to ask one another about what's going on in his life right now. And life's just been so busy for me that, I'm finding it so draining just opening my mouth. And as I'm not much at all good with such conversations, I usually just keep them shut. This is degenning. Lol. Whatever lar! See ya guys around.

oh my gawd we're back again.

2006-10-30T12:20:00.000+08:00

lolz... on request of ben goh, i reinvited him and benny. and yep admit i made a stupid mistake in closing the blog down. so just check from time to time for updates hereeee. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

from cambridge :)

2006-08-08T05:24:00.000+08:00

heyyyy!! :) just posting to smile at everyone. lolz think i told u guys but i'll say it again anyway... not blogging cos i'm keeping my own personal daily diary of accounts everyday. someone email me abt scholarship day!! wanna know what it was about and all... wee the two weeks are passing and i'm coming home soon! missing everyone even tho this is such a great experience... how are each of u'll celebrating national day?? the hols... email me!! my email conversations are dwindling... even tho they do sap a lot of time but no matter! friendship prevails! lolz sorry getting caught up by the language in v for vendetta "england previals"

lalala

2006-08-06T08:42:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO BEN GOOOOOOOOOH
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU :)

leaving...

2006-07-27T20:53:00.000+08:00

whew i'm watching the coming of saturday with equal amount of excitement and apprehension. sometimes i'm just so grateful and happy that the coming two weeks are gonna be part of my memories (and i know i'm definitely gonna enjoy the next two weeks) but sometimes i'm just struck by the cold fear of being totally jerked out from the norm for two whole weeks. two weeks!!! one fifth of a term... and i start thinking of all the things i'm gonna miss. how long i'll take to catch up with everything and everyone when i return. i've never done anything remotely like this... on my own in uk for two whole weeks in the middle of a school term.

whew. so many things to pack and to remember and take note of.

mushroom outing :)

2006-07-23T21:49:00.000+08:00

mm we went out today to celebrate zwing's birthday. one day belated but then i've never had qualms abt late birthdays lolz... anyway cha yeh had the rj performance and another guy was grounded so 4 of us only... we went to nydc for dinner and the food was ugh ok rather terrible and there were really so many awkward silences... but guess its inevitable that we are distanced.

but it was really great just meeting up with everyone again. feeling of warmth and everyone's just so willing to keep the group going and everything was smoothhhh. really treasure them and just wish that can become closer... they are ppl that i can count on for help when i need help but we've drifted such that we can hardly hold a convo without awkward silences and we're a little uncomfortable with each other (sobz or isit only me) and we don't share much and we don't know much about each other's everyday life.

we happened to mention blogs... think i was the one who asked if e rest kept blogs and they all didn't... quite a few thot blogging was stupid as i used to a few months ago. but i guess it's really useful in getting to know ppl better... to read other ppl's blogs and to get insights even tho they're really an inaccurate portrayal of self sometimes. guess a shared blog makes a lot more sense. lolz or am i just convincing myself.

another thing we discussed was what we wanted to do for the year... and wow i realized that i actually did almost everything that i wanted to. cip, pass napfa on first try (albeit my 2.4 was so pathetic) and other stuff... altho i think i have even more things i wanna do now that i actually planned out for myself.

so many changes. ahh work work.

happiness

2006-07-17T19:48:00.001+08:00

seems so strange how this topic just kept popping up so often recently. i started thinking about true happiness a long while ago... remembered discussing it with ack during class time in sec 4 or smth and even then i had my theory about happiness even tho now i'm not really sure wat it is anymore. but i do know something... that we should revolve our lives around searching for it... maybe i'm wrong but right now just feel that there's nothing else much to live for apart from happiness. don't mean it as some cynical there's-nothing-to-life kinda perspective, or some selfish everything-is-just-about-me-being-happy view also...

recently, i started loaning books again and started on a new fantasy trilogy... it's a sequel to another trilogy (those kind of stories that is built on another entire world with its own history) and stuff like that. and when a classmate saw it... he was like "how come u still read these kinda books? u really have a lot of time" and i realize that quite a few ppl have been saying that to me. and i think to myself... really? i think i'm specifically making time for all of these. i know studies are impt and i know i definitely didn't not study... in fact this CTs were one of the few times where i felt that i was so prepared that i had nothing else to study. but it's just 2 years before army... and there's so many things to do, learn, try and experience. i wanna know wat i'm doing at each point of time and treasure the moments.

i think when some ppl see me do the things i do... playing so much, acting so silly sometimes, playing stupid games, reading fantasy books... they judge me for being immature and childish... and i was just abt to think that they are the ones being silly at not being able to see the way i do but i realize that i'm just judging them also. really so difficult to be good. gotta be so cautious of everything i say and do and then just a little too much and i become fake and manipulative. as i said before... everything's a balancing act.

let me expound on fantasy :) i just feel so warm all over when i think that whenever i want, i can just retreat into my own to read and sink into a world where magic and adventure exist (instead of stale homework and project and even cold technology). and even more glad that there's so many more awaiting that i can't see the end of the magic at all.

bleh the more i type this post the more incoherent i'm getting and the more confused i feel and feel that i'm talking more crap. so shall just end here. so tempted to delete the whole post but no matter how crap it is it is still a piece of my mind and worth recording so lolz shall just leave it as it is.

cheated. deceived. pissed. rejected. left out.

2006-07-16T22:44:00.000+08:00

why isit that the things i blog about are gloomy... ok it's quite logical really. recent state of mind is such that these seemingly small and silly things all hit so hard.

haiz ok actually wanted to blog about how i felt in the bus just feeling frustrated of having a piece of band life stolen away from me. lolz title is really hyperbole-ing wat i felt... but a little bit of each word ba.

but after dotaing i feel super empty and drained so bleh nothing to blog about already. wat a sucker dota is.

gaping vacuum inside... fill it with rich and succulent experiences of soul-rendering joy. and chickens and ducks and cows :) talk nonsense

ultra monday blues

2006-07-10T20:30:00.000+08:00

omg today is just a culmination of depression and moodiness. can u imagine titanic's heart of the ocean shining at the bottom of the sea, it's radiant blue captivating everyone despite the already overwhelming blue-ness of the ocean around it. that's how blue today was - total sian-ness with a climax -.- so coincidental that it happened to be monday again. lolz ok btw i realize that the post is super long winded and it basically just says i'm sian in abt 8 paragraphs so yea giving a warning...

ok firstly, my sleep was disrupted!!! early in the morning my bro and my mum woke me up and kept me awake throughout the soccer match with their shouts and all that zz. and then my brother wrenched me (yes literally pulled me) across the bed to make space for himself so he could like underneath the quilt. omg! like mega indignant and irritated.

and that was the trigger. luckily it rained and no assembly so could sleep through the whole of that. but anyhow the entire day was just sian. after 2 hrs of physics prac (which was rather uneventful i think) went for maths lecture. seems like i wasn't the only one feeling sian cos the lecturer (normally feisty and scolding ppl) was strangely lethargic...ok i'm really just making it more poetic and it really was... basically she was just super lifeless also. probably pmsing or smth.

after that we were supposed to have a pw interview with a pw teacher but she wasn't free... guess i was rather glad cos i was totally not in the mood but then again was plagued with frustrations of having to arrange the interview all over again.

after lunch went to the varese room to open the room and things went quite well... since shaun and jas decided to go also when i originally thot that i'd be there alone. did my maths tutorial and pretty much had nothing left that i could do without a comp and so was feeling rather satisfied with myself. that's when all the moodiness returned with a BANG (yea in caps).

for me somehow wasting time (especially waiting unneccessarily) just irks me off. and this time i had close to 3 hours for my irritation and frustration to build up. and so in search of something to do apart from restless naps that usually ended in grumpiness, i made a list of things to do when i got home and the things that i will miss when i went to cambridge. and hey guess wad? the list kept growing longer and longer until i got fed up with so many things i had to do and so i just got even more irritated -.-

i know loads of these are just small stuff and probably seems like i'm making a mountain out of a molehill and all but all these things just get to me harder than other ppl and haiz. balance balance balance. wat a thin line.

and of course the climax of the day that made solidified the gloom of the day into an angsty turmoil that had to be captured (which is why i'm blogging btw). and the beginning of the end of the day started of with h3 physics. of which i got so confused and didnt' understand (which normally won't really bother me cos everyone knows its normal not to understand h3 physics) but this time the confusion just added to my already pent up frustrations.

and so i walked out with ackerley out of the lecture and it just felt great to walk and talk so casually without restraint after such a long day... and we settled in the canteen for a light snack even tho had dinner at home cos i was super hungry (now that i think abt it it probably just added to my mood also... zz when i'm pissed anything can add on to it). then we met up with some other friends and geppers.

after some discussion, i realized that one of them (for anonymity's sake) got like 80+ percent for nearly all his cts and wow ok the inferiority complex just hit me real hard. cos i always used him as a gauge of myself also and i dono if it just showed how much i had deterioriated. not only that but he had changed so much (fior the better). he's like perfection in every aspect... character, fitness, academics and just superior in so many other ways and it's cos he's a good friend that's why the situation hit rather badly and all and haiz. i know it's silly to compare and wat everyone's advice will be in handling all this frustration (even tho now it's almost all gone which is why i'm having a rather hard time recapturing my feelings earlier today) but somehow it's really so inevitable and sometimes just talking about it sincerely, having someone to talk to was all i really wanted. and i know i have ppl to talk to (all u guys and siblings and all) if i but ask just that at that moment... oh well it was just really depressing

:) must be dota withdrawal whole weekend never play. so must play dota again.

monday blues

2006-07-03T22:28:00.000+08:00

omg today is just sian. zz youth day stay at home it's mega sad sobz. i feel sooooo pathetic.

ok so i woke up at 10 and ate breakfast and i watched constantine. understood the show so much better with subtitles and all... but still a rather meaningless activity.

then i dono wat happened in the time leading up to the point when i watched sytycd and aiya ok basically today was a damn boring day. only highlight was watching sytycd and ben came over to watch cos his moniter spoilt. but THATS ALL and omg for a public holiday that's really sad case.

lolz another analogy of life if u will... altho it's ben's. but i think it's just so appropriate that wanna share it with e two of u also. the comparison of life to physical geog... more specifically the weathering of a rock. benny cal u'll take geog so lolz not alien to u guys right. and a rock's face is constantly changing, eroded by wind, water and stuff that physical geog has neatly termed 'agents of change'. so hmm wat is a rock's true shape? wat is our identity when everything around us is influencing us to change? shall quote my diary... thot abt this before.

"What changes in a person? Fluidity. The implications of any view of human nature is staggering. Do we change? Do we have an identity and personality? Do we have an innate self or can we change our character at will? So fundamental to defining our lives and yet such an elusive answer that we all have to find in order to live life better. "

does it disturb u guys? or am i the only one bothered by our fluid or unfluid nature? ok maybe we don't even have to find out the answer.

recently been hit by quite a few surges of nostalgia (hmm is dat the word?) cos it's been so long since i went to play bmt with the mushroomers and i went yesterday... and really didn't realize how much i've been missing old friends until i went back to play. and it was so good just seeing old familiar faces again... wats more was that we recounted past experiences together and brought back so many fond memories. it's really not the same remembering on your own. when you recount with someone the feelings you felt then erupt again and haiz talking abt the past reforges the bond we shared. and for a moment i guess the link was made again... and of course old classmates as well. feels so good to renew old friendships and all.

lolz i make it sound that my life is so enriched with so much friendships and all but really i think i'm just an average guy with friends that everyone has... sometimes i start to compare myself with other ppl and i wanna feel like my life is so much more superior but i guess it's just delusional. true deep delusions. bordering on arrogance. and haiz how do we even compare lives?

never really intended for the post to be this long but stuff just kept coming out...

walking on a tightrope

2006-06-29T18:01:00.000+08:00

we're people walking on a tightrope. everything in our lives is a matter of balance. sometimes things get heavy on side and sometimes things tilt to the other side and when these problems occur, we usually struggle a bit and get our balancing stick straight out again. that's for most of e times at least. the really bad problems come when we tilt too much to one side and fall of the rope. that's when we need someone to really just help us back up...

i dono i just tot of this analogy while i took a bus to school today. it's kinda weird today... just out of the norm and after the exams with nothing to do, i just suddenly felt like going to church. gnostic call or smth. really really weird cos i've never gone to church without occasion before. and so just when inside the ado room and was thinking of reflecting and all... but lolz fell aslp -.-

ok so pensieve today. growing up... as ben calls it. i wonder if all the questions will disappear. but really... life is so much abt a balancing act. somehow i can't express wats wrong with it but i just feel it's wrong somehow. hmm ok maybe just oversensitive...

blues

2006-06-24T17:28:00.000+08:00

Immersing urself in soulful relaxing music all day long can hinder ur journey to glorious success in common tests.

watching tv too.

yay i succumbed to both ^^ so sinful.

life is so nonsensical, most of the time you don't get what you want to get, so therefore you daydream about your own fairy tale.

ahhhhh sleeeping - in my case,too much - is the 3rd sin i committed. ^^

i can foreseee my impending disaster next monday...

o...

the tv is beckoning ..... tata :)

fruits basket

2006-06-23T23:41:00.000+08:00

hey everyone... do u guys check e blog... but nvm even if u'll don't it's ok cos the posts are as much for myself as they are for u guys. anyway i'm just reflecting on an anime i got caught up with recently... fruits basket. it's a non-violent (ok maybe just a little bit) teenage high school kind of anime with only 26 episodes. but yea i got really interested in it for some dark reasons which i don't feel like revealing :( sound so ominous.

i've only watched like 6 episodes out of the 26 but one of the themes hit me rather strongly... maybe i'm just finding meaning where there's no meaning in the anime at all -.- but ok lets not talk abt the anime and talk abt the theme. the theme of acceptance and rejection (rice ball in fruits basket get e idea? no? nvm...) and hmm so many things in what we do has gotta do with acceptance and rejection. everything from wanting to look good, look cool, do well in sports, academics, arts and we're just revolving around what other ppl think. sounds so shallow but haiz so inescapable. it'd just be so wonderful if we can totally heck care about what other ppl think.

i used to think that being poser was just gross and so i tried to stay as much from it as possible... but then i realized after a while that not wanting to look poser is exactly the same as wanting to look poser (ok that didn't really make sense). cos whether u pose or not, u're just wanting ppl to see you the way you wanna be seen, whether its cool or whether it's poser or watever i'm getting incoherent i must maintain my rationality and cannot digress into deluspeak (as ben calls it).

acceptance and rejection. think wanting to be accepted is rather inevitable... isit? i wonder what it'd be like to totally be able not to care about what others think. then again maybe that line of thought is just selfishness put in another form. haiz so confused. and such an amazing thing being accepted is... then when u get accepted into a community u can feel that u don't even need any other form of acceptance cos u found ur place in that community already. think that's the deep kind of acceptance that ppl kinda yearn for and get in strong friendships and relationships and all. and there's the surface-level acceptance to follow the trend and look cool and just be accepted on first impression by everyone even tho they might not know u at all.

lolz just penning down some thoughts and letting off some steam... no motive to this post intended :( why do i even have to convince ppl that there's no ulterior motive. maybe i have an unconscious ulterior motive that makes me conscious that i don't wanna sound like i have an ulterior motive. so i gotta put down a statement to convince ppl that i don't have an ulterior motive. wat nonsense am i talking abt.

church camp. and a tempo.

2006-06-18T21:34:00.000+08:00

hey hey just returned from church camp... and it was really an experience. not my first time going for a church camp... but it's the first time that i'm in church camp being a leader instead of a participant... so guess it's an entirely new experience.

lolz some new terms here so just bear with me and uh if u'll don't understand wat i'm talking abt just heck or can ask me or smth. i guess the major difference in being a leader and being a participant is that now, i'm the one that's gotta lead the discussion and sharings... and gosh it's sooooo challenging. awkward silences are kinda taboo in sharing sessions so it's kinda my job to fill up silences with questions to probe the students and all...

and most heavy on my mind was the responsibility. church camp is usually the time when the students have their 'leap of faith'... and it's like their huge step towards growing closer to God and all... so yea i just felt so much responsibility and was very troubled if i was adequate enough to lead the students... cos after all this is a life-impacting and turning-poin-in-life kinda situation. and i kept wondering like "oh no if i didn't do a good enough job then the students are gonna miss out on a whole new experience cos of my incompetence" and yea plagued by doubts of myself.

i'm not sure if u'll are familiar with these kinda things... but at this point of time, intellect has such a small role to play. it's all about EQ... knowing what to say and when to say it, knowing how to reach out to people and haiz team dynamics and being sensitive and all...

i just really hoped i did good in the camp... and made a difference in the students.

and now on to atempo... a tempo was fantastic. i dono how we sounded professionally, but i know i really really enjoyed it and the audience enjoyed it a lot too and that's really just enough for me. just that i had been wearing my contact lenses for so long and i almost got a headache (thank god for denise's panadol) and was feeling so super duper lethargic during practice cos i ate half a packet of maggi mee -.- i cooked maggi mee for myself before goign to school and the maggi mee sucked like shit so i didn't eat half of it. yuck.

and yea on to e farewell part of a tempo and investiture... e day after a tempo i was just suddenly felt so sad that things were going to change. our whole row... people i sit next to in concert... band leaders and so many other things. i guess i just got so comfortable with the situation. but not only that i think in all my years... i've never gotten close to seniors. never ever. my seniors just same :) i'm a good junior and i respect my seniors but that's that and that's all. somehow this year i just got so much closer to two of my seniors, denise and joy and it's been so great knowing them and all. usually concert is just ok we sit there and mr oura scolds ppl and sometimes i fall asleep and sometimes i'm just stoning. but now there's ppl to talk to... and every concert is just so much more animated and lively and haizzzz i'm so gonna miss all of that.

oh and i'm definitely not excited about being sl -.- ugh

such a long and drawn out post... did u'll read thru everything?? lolz congrats if u did.

thanks

2006-06-15T19:25:00.000+08:00

Today was mighty fine. Really gonna miss the seniors and all. Yukit, SiokTeng, Priscilla, Christine, Yeng Ling, ShaoShuang(the erase(r/d)), Jerminah, and you Benny. Our section rocks loh. Sigh. Awesome people.

And this is one of those times when realization materializes into substantial thoughts, to be put down in words and etched in my memory and life forever till further agents influence it.
All that's worth giving up, for in truth they worth nothing at all
My truth.

Rarely get the opportunity to thank you guys for simply existing. Life's so much more than that which we hanker after. Cya'll around!

---

Hey I just tweaked with the links profiles and stuff. Update them k? ok byebye dota forever.

2006-06-02T10:14:00.000+08:00

ee where's our title!!! how come our title disappear de. ok anyway lolz just realized how gloomy e last post sounded :( how come use so many :( got 10 min to spare before going out of e house so just a quick post first maa.

so bo liao. oh i cleaned the fish tank!! so proud of myself :)

on the wings of love...

2006-06-01T23:39:00.000+08:00

ok title got no relation to the post... just listening to this song and i tot it's a nice song... no idea wat to put for my title anyway.

haiz some things are getting really strained... wouldn't mind u guys knowing but i don't want other ppl to know :( so cannot blog abt it openly. think i'm being stretched thin so yea it all has a cumulative effect on my outlook and attitude and all that. which means yea everything's looking rather bland now -.-

did i mention that the hols is just packed ( :( don't even wanna complain abt this cos :( ... nvm)

treasure life...

2006-05-19T23:23:00.000+08:00

sigh yes yes... such an un-realized quality: enjoying and treasuring the time we have. it's a pity that so few of us truly realize how short our time is. 5 months have passed... does it seem fast to u'll? it seemed to flash past me. i feel as if i'm struggling to hold the reins on time and fill my time up with meaningful things to do so that at the end of this year, i know that i've accomplished some things.

and no mistake we only have this year... next year is a levels don't think i really wanna clog up next year with anything much. after a's will be army... which is just plonk a total interruption of 3 years. it's as if life is put on hold for 3 years... except after 3 years we'll just be rusty in everything we do. all the skills we learn and treasure bleh wonder wat will happen to them after army. flute, dota, essay, thinking seriously wonder whether they'll just all erode away. ugh.

feel it's quite amazing how i'm scrambling to make the most out of it... to treasure whatever youth i have left... while others are all grown up already. the people who are so focused on their work and concerned about the problems of society and other important nonsense. despite the respect i have for these vessels of maturity, i pity them for not feeling what people like us feel: the exuberance of youth. think it's a major part of the reason why i gave up so much leadership opportunities... cos they'll just drain the fun. and fun just gets more elusive as we get older doesn't it... in jc already there's just so little time to bond. feel that my classmates are just a little more than acquantances... thank god for the friends i had before jc then.

sometimes we have to reflect... 17 years of our life. just exactly what have we done?

heh

2006-05-18T23:23:00.000+08:00

Haha cal.. 你的确成熟了许多! Yep.. Jc life's pretty diff huh.. I'm living it the best that i can! Staying awake in lessons, doing my work, trying not to pon cca cough and at the same time, enjoying my youth and trying to fulfill as many dreams as possible.

Regardless of how the norm of rj is to mug like some shiethead, and to emerge victorious in the rat race, never lose your individuality. Stay true to yourself and enjoy life to the fullest. Sure, we still do need to work hard and keep up with our work and all, but we must never lose sight of our dreams. And friends too.

Miss tearing up stuffed toys and wrecking havoc in the band room with ya lol. There're many memories that I'll cherish for the rest of my life (till I get senile and =((( die!die!die!). You guys rock ya.

And stay cool! We rOxOrrRr!!!!~!~!~!

random

2006-05-16T19:49:00.000+08:00

My teacher today asks us to do a reflection of our lives in JC so far and I guess I would just type a few comments here. haha. As usual, school work are starting to pile up and I need to buck up soon cos my class is damn pro. School life so far has been good and enjoyable, tho a bit too dull and boring at times, cos basically everyday it seems like you are doing the same things over and over again. Never again will I reliquish the joy of having a free afternoon for slacking or sleeping :(

My class is fun lol. Lots of scandals that are pretty interesting and really bond our class together very well. I guess jokes are always the best solution or method to bond people of different backgrounds or interests together. It is realy so fun sitting down in the canteen making fun of classmates and laugh till you spill your ice lemon tea out of your mouth.

I notice many people are starting to change, and I think I may have changed too. Hopefully its for the better lar :) I dun really get to meet many people I used to see in the past, tho that dun realy bother me lol Ok maybe these make me seem heartless and cold but i guess it really depends on how strong those frenship bonds are. Just like in chemistry, sigma bonds are stronger than pi bonds. Yay I am out of point now lol

I learnt from many of my classmates that one should never ever expect too much from their friends. The greater the expectations the greater the disappointment; ask not what your friend can do for you, but what you can do for others. But in a balanced situation, both sides should contribute in more or less the same extent.

Optimism is another impt thing. One should always look on the brighter side of life, its always that glimmer of hope that keeps you going and going.

Thats it. I am done with my reflection of life. I shall submit this for journal ( if it is required ) :)

long time no see

2006-05-12T21:59:00.000+08:00

million thanks for the fantasitc 4 ......... jesssica alba is staring at me now.... hahaha adkjgofiboasido9uvfoas;dasd i am not making sense so i shall just shuddup and rot.

bye =)

goosebumps!!!!!

2006-05-08T20:07:00.000+08:00

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE do u'll know abt the colin and kero thing. it's damn super super gross got goosebumps popping up all over while reading it. wa lao they are so sick la... e neoprints are just ugh. ok but anyway their blog seems like they're so intense and possesive that i wonder how long it will really last...

teenage angstttttttttttttttttttt. so easy to classify everything. guess it's an apt word to use even tho it's so vague and mo hu and so hard to tell anything just from a word. hmm i remember blogging abt this some time ago. aiya not really in a mood to think got into one of my sneezing fits which just drain, suck, sap all my energy and leave me in a state of lethargy. yucks.

next week...

2006-04-30T12:48:00.000+08:00

ooo busy week ahead.
monday: f4 meeting dono wat time it'll end
tues: physics test
wed: maths test
friday: gpp due and ki debate
sunday: cat class coming over and co concert

big events to be watch out for: f4 meeting, ki debate and cat class coming over. co concert also la.

lolz ok i just ommited the 2 tests as stuff to watch out for. anyway yes activity-filled week ahead. dono how my gpp is gonna be done sheesh haven't even decided on any pi yet. i'm resource manager of my group :) my first job is to get a minutes book for our secretary. to solidify our delusions, we named our pw yahoogroups board_of_directors. lolz so powerful right.

ki debate!!! AHHHH i'm seriously rather nervous about it. first time in my life i'm speaking in a debate. howww wat if i screw up. i'm last speaker so potentially i think i can make e most impact since i'm last speaker and all but howww can't even think fast on the spot and sobz later deliver some weak sounding conclusion and sigh it'll be damn sad.

cat class coming over... hmm rather strange having the whole group over. gonna be like close to 10 ppl over i think. gonna watch i not stupid 2 as part of the class itself. lolz so interesting wonder wat will be everyone's reactions and reflections.

my wish list is growing longerrrrr. materialistic me. oh and anyway... i must watch my spending. i'm just happily drawing on my savings and they're being depleted. think even my mum is getting wary of how i spend, asking questions everytime i take money from her and all that. bleh think i better spend less from now on. hard to strike a balance between being not minding spending money when the time comes (like presents, lunch even? hmm) and spending appropriately (thot how i spent 20 bucks on a bouquet each was rather ridiculous that time... stoopid mistake).

and to the apprehension of the moment: lunch. woe betide us my sis is cooking lunch!! is that miraculous or just miraculous. lolz. but then dono how her food will turn out. oh she's cooking shepherd's pie. shall tell u guys later how her cooking was. quote from her: "i HATE cooking" -she said this as she was cutting the mushrooms for the pie :)

recent updates...

2006-04-23T13:51:00.000+08:00

eeya i shall just be resigned to my soliloquy. ok abt ytd and today...

went to the ship last night with my bro and sis for dinner... had this marvelous steak thingie with a layer of cheese on top. it was really quite nice (think it's like my first or second time ordering steak in restaurants) and i was enjoying my meal... until i exchanged food with my sis cos she liked my steak too.

came home and watched just like heaven. rather nice romantic comedy. not super super nice but just ok-nice la. my bro wanted to watch friends with me but then i fell asleep in like e second episode. my bro really loves it borrows the dvd to watch.

today had to wake up real early like 6.30 to go church and man the canteen... sell food and stuff. then after church my cat class ppl... abt 4 of them went for breakfast at e roti prata shop, then came back to watch shutter. kinda weird having these ppl come over cos i'm not too close to them yet but also quite happy to bond with them... must become more comfortable with them cos in cat class it's all about being willing to open up to each other.

ok after this right... gonna watch eight below with my siblings... so yes this whole weekend is super unproductive in terms of work. but aiya work is such a small component on weekends. work is piled up to be finished on monday and thurs. e other days for other fun stuff. :) dota.

a world of fantasy

2006-04-16T21:01:00.000+08:00

ok first things first: all of you'll obviously happily ignored my desperate plea to u guys to blog again. yucks. ok la not all. ben goh!!! and wheeeeee ben's back in band!!! that so rox la oh happy days.

kk and now there's guests staying over in our house... and unceremoniously (is this correct use of e word... dono sounds right to me) barged into my room. ok la not barged but i was reduced to sleeping in my bro's room, leaving me bereft of my comp, Cooldude (oh i decided to name him just as i typed that sentence. and obviously it's a him. it's too cool to be a 'her') but aiya must be hospitable and all that so ok lor no comments even tho my table's in kinda mess and kept coming back into my room to use use the comp and all that. and then tmr. i must pack all my stuff for school tmr, which includes my uniform and my bag (i usually prepare this during the morning itself) and bring them all out of my room cos if not i'll disturb them tmr morning. bleh... so troublesome. but hmm ok actually shudn't be bitching at all cos these ppl made our stay in hk a lot more interesting than it would have been without them.

and back to the main topic of the blog, fantasy. i just read terry brook's Magic Kingdom for Sale: Sold. and i'm super excited cos it's a series of books!! that means that it'll be like a 2 or 3 more books of reclusive retreatment into a comfort zone of imagination and dreams. yup thats exactly how it is when i read fantasy novels. i get super comfortable and retreat into my own world of the story. the temptation of a half-read fantasy novel (esp if its a continuation) lying on the shelf is stronger than that of dota. yes i actually was reading the belgariad series again during CTs in sec 3 -.- so i know perfectly how tempting it is. so yea everytime i think of the new books i get this warm feeling that whenever i want i can just retreat back into my comfort zone so easily... just pick up the book and read. fantasy novels aren't the kind that the nice-ness of it lingers for a long time and inspires readers unlike books like literature texts and stuff. but what they do (at least for me) is create and exhilaration and enchantment that is unmatched by any other activity. it's why i maintain that the belgariad series is one of e best series i have read even tho many ppl find it shallow.

long weekend that church activities has devoured... haven't done anything yet but the most pressing issue is to study for phy spa. e rest i shall leave to my short day tmr to finish e remnants (can majority count as remnants?) of my work: lit essay, PI, ma. quiz, tutorials, aiya. tata.

exhausted...

2006-04-16T00:02:00.000+08:00

btw happy easter everyone. lolz i know u guys don't really celebrate easter, and its not even sunday yet but since i just finished mass i shall wish everybody who reads happy easter!!

easter mass was 3 hours long... sheesh. and yea played for e choir... and since i'm e only musician besides the pianist/organist, had to play as if it's a solo. so yup thats solo for every song in the 3 hours. and the end result of that was an aching left arm for holding my flute for so long (lolz i know its damn sad case that i get an aching arm from holding a flute) and mega exhausted cos of the constant low pressure. a bit brain dead also cos not enough oxygen. bleh. at least got complimented la on my playing so not all that bad :)

and e weekend's coming to an end... long and tiring weekend and super busy. shall go sleep such a tiring day.

ahh i am troubled.

2006-04-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

just came back from my interview. and waa damn scary la... interviewed by mr mag, ms tan siok mui and mr desmond tan... big shots so yea definitely intimidating when i stepped into the room.

ok i am so super duper sucky at interviews. they'll always ask me qns like what do i think i deserve this and that... and i'll be super stumped and dono how to reply at all. still remember my embarrassing silence when i was interviewed for band post ugh i suck at being interviewed. AHH troubled. aiya but seriuosly lor they ask me why i think i deserve the award (qns along that line) and obviuosly i don't know anything right duh thats why i'm surprised to be even nominated. but i got a feeling that the award is very prestigious... some headmaster's honors list (putting headmaster in front of it is already so staining... if HM was mr wong or smth ok la but now its bob koh. ugh. lolz ee won't be sued for this right.)

ms tan asked me wat was my greatest strength... i just put compassion and crapped some stuff aiya dono la. think its quite obvious i was bullshitting my way thru. then when mr mag asked me for an adjective for myself, i said i was reflective. guess this fits the bill more than anything else. "It suddenly dawned on me, that I became aware of my strengths- that, in itself, was strength. " lolz quote from my bro's scholarship application... he had to write a description abt himself.

so when the interview ended... ms tan said smth at the end like just take this interview as a learning experience and ok shit lolz i definitely know i didn't do well for my interview. so aiya a bit chagrined but then as david said, since i didn't even expect to get the award shudn't be sad that i'm not getting it. just take it as a compliment that i was nominated :) think my form teacher nominated me one saw her before the interview and she said to me "really hope you'll get it" my FT rox right? haha!! its her birthday this thurs... trying to plan something with ack

Caught j-walking at traffic light

2006-04-05T23:44:00.000+08:00

lol this is one of the dumbest things that happened this week, in fact i think it is the dumbest thing. lol.. I got caught j-walking at j8! lol it was raining really heavily when i left school with my classmate to lunch at j8. We took a bus there, and alighted at the interchange. Then we came to this stretch of road which is not more than 4 metres? in width.. with traffic lights. The light just turned red (as in really just turned red) and the natural reaction for the both of us was to quickly cross the road. lol but on the other side of the 4 metre road was a policeman who was waiting in silence to prowl on unsuspecting victims, and ta-da, we became his prey. He took down our particulars (from nirc) and told us that a fine of 20 bucks will be imposed, and mailed to out houses. yea.. lol so the gist of it. Even though i feel that the fine was a bit unjustified, considering it was raining really heavily and the rain was pouring in, so the natural thing to do was to want to quickly get inside j8 esp since the light just turned red a split second ago and people were still crossing... but oh well..its a fine city

cat meeting: adults argue

2006-04-05T23:18:00.000+08:00

WAAAAA just came back from a super tense catechism meeting.

basically a group of adults (ok the catechists) were arguing over a matter, that was blown out of proportion cos of an oversensitive parent. srry if got not much details cos uhh don't wanna talk too much abt the private stuff but then must understand the context to see the reason behind their argument.

so... they started arguing. so interesting to see them argue, cos everyone is trying to keep calm and cool and poised so they all stop to listen when someone talks so everyone gets to talk until they finish and it is super long-winded and inefficient. not only that, but soemtimes they didn't even address each other's points and become more and more exasperated with each other until i think one of them almost lost their cool. can't imagine if all these mature adults suddenly break out into tempers and waaa start throwing tantrums. sheesh.

but anyway in the end i think my teacher made e most sense and his analysis was the most in-depth and consider all the factors and stuff and yea :) my teacher rox. he's not actually my teacher now but he taught me and he's one of e reasons why i decided to join in as a youth helper.

mm... so i'm thinking about my flowers problem. HELPPP

wat's e worst day of e week that makes us all depressed.

2006-04-03T22:20:00.000+08:00

M O N D A Y, S U C K S. uhh lolz so random.

aiya anyway ok today got lessons, then spent some time in e library doing my stoopid chem shit which i redid again and again cos i screwed up e equation and didn't even realize it -.-

arnd 2 i left to meet my bro in orchard, and we walked around a bit and went to play pool for an hour. talked quite a bit... stuff that he says in his blog he'll talk about it... except it's a lot easier to understand when talking instead. he got a new post in his blog btw... another cheem thing that u all shud take e time to go and understand (-.- i'm being so hypocritical). and then after that i went to church in e evening with him... so long since i've been to church on a weekday but then since i'm already out might as well go la so convenient anyway.

came back wanted to karaoke with my sis but she had a headache... plus my bro wanted to watch movie. was rather looking forward to the karaoke actually been rather long since we fiddled with e hong kong system thingie. talking about headaches, i just remembered that i had a splitting headache during dota yesterday!! and i vommitted out my entired dinner. yes -.- u could see the different food that i ate. i ate watermelon last, so that came out first as some red nonsense, and then the spaghetti that i ate for noodles... came out as single strands didn't even digest finish. yux hope you'll are not eating or wat when u'll read this.

yup so uh end of e day? watch Hero with my bro... some jet li show that is really quite abstract but e fighting scenes were rather nice. apparently the fighting scenes were choreographed by the person who choreographed kill bill scenes. isit? dono la ask my bro he's the expert. my this whole week is super super packed... tmr got cip till 9, then wed got church meeting prob till arnd 11, thur got cadenza until 10+, and fri... lolz uh fri still trying to come up with something.

good night sweet dreams in advance everyone!!

1st time aunty anula rides bicycle!!!

2006-04-02T14:27:00.000+08:00

after such a late night, i decided not to wake up to go to church in e morning. i'll go for e evening one since i'd probably sleep in church if i went for e morning one anyway. so... when my bro came back from mass, we went to east coast park for cycling.

aunty anula came along and we persuaded her to try cycling even though she never really tried it before. she took a tandem bike together with me at e front and yay we cycled rather effectively for one and a half hours. think she really enjoyed e experience... its rare that aunty anula really enjoys something that we do together.

aiya actually hor i'm not in e mood to blog much. so i'll just leave this short post as it is ok? ok.

Stupid

2006-03-28T22:10:00.000+08:00

Lol i feel stupid. Yesterday i was so engrossed with my gc that i was playing with it on the bus. I was trying to beat a friend's tetris high score but in the end, i only managed to set my own personal best score. Whats worse was that, i missed the stop i was suppose to alight. Actually i wasnt sure whether i even missed it, so i waited for a few more stops till i was certain that i had missed my stop -.- Haha... so dumb. So i alighted, crossed the road and hailed a cab (coz it was quite late and lots of stuff to rush back at home.) Then for a moment, i had this feeling i was eventually going to miss the turn to my house because of some perplex reasons that are difficult to put into words. Surprise..Suprise.. i eventually did miss the turn to my house. okay, so i got stopped the cab driver, got out, and walked home. Lol blew 5bucks + on the ride home just so i could set some new high score.. damn stupid.

haiz 7 days of silence

2006-03-27T23:04:00.000+08:00

silence broken le... do you'll still check e blog?? like e moment i get back, comp on, log in msn, go to e blogs.

kk lemme start with the mushroom dinner... went to surf n turf at suntec on thurs night to celebrate jiazheng's bday. just treated him to dinner... rather ex and the food wasn't really good but yea it was fun just meeting up again after quite a while. pity shanghui couldn't make it cos he had rehearsal so mm quite unfortunate. quite cool also cos there was 1 anderson, 2 VJ, 1 hwa chong and 2 rj so it was a group of ppl all in different uniforms and yea... just rather interesting. met glen, jared, denise and some other j2s who just finished their common test in city hall who were quite shocked to see us i think. but yea wat was really great was the time we spent after dinner... just sitting down near the fountain of wealth and chatting. catch up with all of them and just hmmm act like when we were back in pri school. :)

fri was the local u talk which was ugh so freaking boring. just sit there and stone and complain for the whole time. more like whining but aiya whining makes me seem so pathetic and even tho i actually was lets just be euphemistic ok? when to angus house to celebrate my bro's bday after dat... the food was fantastic there but it costed a bomb duh.

sat was quite uneventful cos i mostly dotaed it away... dota withdrawal mar so many days nv dota so sat paid back wat i owed my dota in full. no hw for e weekend anyway. none due on mon or tue at least. then sun i went to play 3 hours of pool with elson... i realized i actually might get to like pool. don't need the usual basic requirements of fitness... lolz it's a super slack game... and i realized club actually has it and u can play it on your own too!! so yea actually i think i might really get to like it. there's snooker tables there too and we saw these 2 young guys... either around our age or a few years older... playing with 2 old men around 50+ maybe? they looked so much more refined than ppl playing pool. hmm just e impression i got from watching them.

so yes remember i mentioned that pool is such a slack game? -.- i actually had muscle ache in my back... probably from bending down too much. i mean like wth who gets muscle ache from playing pool thats just seriously cannot make it -.- but it was 3 hours ok!! hmm... dono la.

wants and dun wants

2006-03-20T21:16:00.000+08:00

i dun want chem test
i dun want gp speech
i dun want to do jap compo thats is gonna be due
thats y i dun wan tomolo to come

i want to sleeep
i want to watch desperate housewives
i want june holidays
so that i can go sleeep overs

i LOVE sleepovers
LOVE LOVE LOVE

mwwwwwah

so pissed with my bro

2006-03-19T13:08:00.000+08:00

zz i was so freaking pissed off this morning... but anyway lemme talk abt e past few days first.

went out on fri with my pri schoolmate (p1-3) elson. we went to watch cry_wolf... it's about a game... like mafia actually but then this time there's money involved so yes it's super duper cool and everyone's lying and backstabbing and lolz feel like trying it out sounds so fun. of course later it turns to murder and all that but that's cos of this evil person. talking nonsense la...

went to try out pool with him after that... i just realized we have pool tables in our club... so bleh went to go try out. strange game... then after that we went for dinner and went to borrow ring and ring 2. he stayed overnight to watch but we ended up watching matrix instead of ring 2 cos we got freaked out after ring. slept around 3... altho i was drifting between sleep and wake and thinking of samara yucks first time a horror movie affected my sleep. maybe it's just cos i was sleeping on the pullout bed which is a lot more uncomfortable. :)

left early in the morning (uh around 8) to go for my cip with the catechists and the class. i think it was something like batchgive?? a little more productive (from what i heard) tho cos we went inside to clean the houses, and brought foodstuff and all that. there was this house that we went in... waa seriously like a junkyard. gosh his maggi chilli bottle had like black stuff inside... and the whole house is just a pile of collected items that he didn't want us to touch, move and definitely not throw. so yes all his containers and expired stuff we had to secretly just take it while he wasn't looking and throw away. lolz oh we were cleaning near his stove and moved his thermos flask when a small lizard crawled out. actually right a lizard's movement shouldn't be crawl cos they move so freaking fast... anyway we got a shock and panicked and knocked the thermos flask onto the floor... and it popped open and scalded my foot with hot water. think it wasn't very hot tho cos it's like ok already but the burn did last for a few hours. oh did i mention that the bottom of the flask had rotted off already and he used plastic bags to keep the water inside the flask... so yes that was the worst la... quite a few of them didn't even want us to go inside so yea we left them alone...

that evening (it's sat btw), me my bro elson and someone else (elson knows my bro cos they were both in maris stella) went to watch v for vendetta. really good movie that you'll should catch... yup ok.

now this morning, i was thinking of going for this youth group meeting (that my bro always encouraged me to), cos i didn't have cat class. in the end i decided not to... just din't feel like going and felt like watching matrix (and maybe there're other deeper or even more superficial reason which i didn't think thru). so yup my bro flaired up at me... and now that i think about it i still dont' know really why altho he said it had to do with something about me wanting something and not going for it and wad?? don't ask me. so yes that was how the argument started... and of course how an argument started is usually not what an argument is about... it just escalates to things we've been keeping inside and yup we just argued about stuff i can't even remember now. i've never been able to win my bro in an argument... he talks and thinks too fast and sometimes he says things that are hard to grasp and they sound so cheem and it takes a while to rebut and that period of time spent thinking means u've lost e argument. he always maintains that it's not about winning or losing in an argument but in situations like this, when everyone's heated and frustrated, does anything else matter apart from pride? can u even keep pride out of it? and my bro sounded so self-righteous and all that and i couldn't think of a way to say anything and so yes felt so lousy and ARGH-feeling. and after that, he did his usual thing of apologizing... but i decided to remain pissed with him instead of usually cooling down cos i wanted to make an impact and so we argued again!!! so lovely -.- and of course he said his usual "you always argue because you just don't want to be wrong. why can't you be wrong? arguing for the sake of arguing..." and his line of reasoning that is so hard to counter cos if i say something along those lines it'll seem so silly and aiya zhong zhi i can't win him in an argument. then after everything is blown up and we're eating in macs he says sorry. like wow ok things are supposed to be ok now that u've apologized and i can just dismiss my frustration. it's so easy for e winner to apologize and just happily put yourself down already... of course already win wad u know u've won.

aiya bitch forever if he reads this he also sure kp. lolz like that time i used his phone to send a msg abt him being stingy to benny... he came back to me shortly after and said "if you wanna bitch about ppl make sure they don't find out" and walked off again. but don't think he reads our blog much.

hi

2006-03-18T20:27:00.000+08:00

hi long time never blog. i was bored :(. okz i am trying to write a speech for my homework. An inspirational speech. Wow .... I am so gonna fail it. =_= I am watching Pearl Harbour now..... so inspiring..... lol I am incoherent now becos the curry chicken rice I ate just now was HOOOOOOOOOT! My goodness! My tongue stings! Ouch.

I haven give section presents to Lana Lang and Silmarwen Helyanwe yet..... o yes the hugs expired Lol Ok never mind the show is starting again....... Byebye

2006-03-17T19:46:00.001+08:00

Have not blogged in a long time. So ayy okay this is what happened these 2 days. I went out with some friends and classmates on thursday. Met them in school at around 5 pm +. We were going to go clubbing, at Zouk, for ROMP - underage party. This is my first time clubbin, yea so kinda going for the experience. The party starts at around 9+ 10pm, and will last till about 4am. So in the meanwhile, we had alot of time to kill. We left our stuff with one of the boarders, then made our way to j8 to eat. At j8, a friend and me kinda ran into this renovation sale at OP, yea things were basically going at really low prices (compared to the original prices). So i grabbed a pair of slippers for about 15 bucks. Slippers which came in handy later on at night lol.

AFter that, we went to play pool at marina.. i think i got better at it seeing its only my 3rd time playing. Out of the 5 who were there, only 4 played, so its 2 v 2, a pretty fun experience. And pool really is addictive, so have to watch that i dont make it a habit to always go pool.. It ended at roughly 9pm+ i think, then we took a train to Outram Park, and hailed a cab from there to where ever zouk is. There was a queue at zouk or at least theres this massive load of people trying to get in. The place was flooded with soooooo many youths. But somehow, we managed to get in quite quickly, squeezed through the crowd somehow.. didnt bother to queue. Saw many familiar faces, there were alot of people from school who were going for the party.

When we arrived, the party just started i tihnk, but already on the dance floor, were like loads and loads of people... pretty jammed pack. I met a couple of friends there the moment i walked up the stairs. Yea, they were just chilling out... getting warmed up or something. So basically slacked around for a while, before deciding to hit the dance floor.. We had to squeeze our way tthrough the crowd in order to end up somewhere near the center of the floor... There were seriously alot of people, so there wasn't really much space.. And there were people dancing all around u, there was this gay guy who was trying to grind me from behind or something.. damn weird..

Danced for some time until the heat and loud music got abit too much, so we decided to take a break. Had to (with some difficulty) find our way out of the floor on to the upper levels, where we got drinks and chilled. After like stoning and err.. resting for some time, we went back down to dance.. this time we were squeezedto the side of the floor.. did not really have much room but nevertheless... managed to groove to the music.. haha..

We left zouk at 1am plus for the coffee club in orchard.. had a pretty amusing experience there, coz the waiters did not allow us to bring outside food in, but we stil brought drinks from 7 eleven into the premise.. they tried with lots of persistence to get us to stop drinking them.. but i dont think it really worked..After that we trudged through the urban jungle into the hearts of SMU. All the way we were just talking crap lol.. its pretty cool to walk in the middle of the night.. cause its quiet and u can really talk in that sense.. Slacked on one of the private roads in SMU, before a lorry came at us.. lol. Actually it didnt really came at us, but someone's exaggerated reaction got us all running away from the middle of the road. Had our picture taken by some canadian tourist who was trying to find food at like 4 am in the morning.

We then walked to singapore river... crossed the bridge (which somehow seemed like a pretty long bridge coz we walked for a kinda long distance) to some stone steps by the small merlion.. We slept there on the steps -- ok only my friend and i slept. its really really cool, though it seems as though we are homelesss.. but to sleep by the sea, and have waves lapping at the steps below, is really quite a unique experience.. slept pretty comfortably thnx to my classmate on whom i slept and used as a pillow haha... at about 6 30 am, the merlion started spurting water into the sea... and by 7am+ the sun rose... could see the moon and the sun in parallel, really cool feeling.. Its not everyday u get to feel as though u are homeless, sleeping by the sea, and hearing the rhythmic waves and just reflecting on stuff... should go there more often..

After that we went for breakfast at macs in j8, then went back to pick up our stuff in school. Subsequently, i slept on the bench in the school canteen for a while before going for lunch. AFter lunch i basically got home and collapsed on the bed.. My long awaited slumber..

hello u lazy bums. blog.

2006-03-17T00:33:00.000+08:00

actually arh... i think i know enough about wats been happening already. but just blog anyway so that everyone else will know what everyone's been doing. everyone refers to e 3 of u anyway.

anyway i just (not just but yea finally got arnd to blogging) realized i haven't blog about play!!! first time we performed for 2 days in a row... and wow really quite exhausting... it's not like the usual after one concert can celebrate. this time, still gotta prepare for the next day and gasp really tiring. lolz somehow i really like performances... u get a chance to make it or break it, to put in your best and present to everyone your best (at least it's supposed to be). a bit diff from other sports? ppl don't get to see u shine...

oh yes to continue about play, it was really good and the songs. mm ok everyone heard e songs. i really liked the songs... esp those in second half... pity i couldn't play for fantasies of flight think that song was super nice. pearl harbor is by hans zimmer!!! hans zimmer composed the soundtrack for faceoff, PRINCE OF EGYPT, uhhh and other really cool action movies. my bro loves his music and e both of us can recognize his style i think.

btw i use american spelling for most of my words i think... lolz its only cos american words use more 'z' instead of 's'... and i like writing the word 'z' so i use american spelling. wat better reason could there be to use one spelling in favor of another?

presents... new culture brought in by the rgs batch. every concert, we gotta exchange presents so yup. btw cal... our hugs expired... the card is only until valid till 10th march. lolz wat an interesting gift. then after e concert got photo taking and yea dats abt it. e concert definitely helped us to bond also... as a batch, and yea get to know more ppl and our seniors too.

oh i'm ct rep. after dom left i got nominated. bleh dreading e responsibility... it'd be so nice to let some really enthu ppl just organize stuff for e class and just join in the fun... but sigh now i've got a hand in forging e class spirit and all. haven't done anything abt it tho...

plans for e rest of e hol (sobz so little left of it):
lit port and othello journal (in addition to reading finish othello)
study chem
cip (oh my gosh this thing delay how long le)
watch matrix and mean girls
practice calligraphy (after dono how long i shall take out my dusty brush)

did i mention i'm broke. not really but just feeling depleted. loads of money in loans. ugh my family together owes me arnd 150 bucks... from diff ppl of course.

talking to denise (flute senior) on msn now... she's online at real weird hours. think she's nocturnal or smth... but no one else's talking and just finished dota so yea great to just talk.

hk...

2006-03-14T17:23:00.000+08:00

eh blog leh... wanna know wat's been happening e past few days

in hk, things are getting pretty boring. just can't really stay in hk for that long a time. i'll upload pics when i get back i guess but right now... lolz i'm at this ice cream bar called 'best berry' which has really good yoghurt. my brother's sleeping on the table and my sis just went shopping by herself cos me and my bro were too bored and tired to accompany her. bleh it's like that when the whole day's just shopping. last few days were a little better i guess... talk more about it when i have more time ba.

anyway yup march hols... many things to do? dono also when i get back i'll see how i wanna spend it... hope to get back on e earliest flight home so dat can make it for the band batch thingie.

got ktv tonight anyway... looking forward to that cos the food's great and song selection is pretty good too. then after tonight tmr wake up and back on e plane... flying rox. ok since i started lemme just finish my whole trip... last sunday we had a hike... 3 hour plus hike... that was quite tiring but lolz i'm surprised i didn't have body ache or anything the next day. on monday, it was mostly shopping and stuff yea and today the same also la... two major events are only ktv and the hike lor the rest is just shopping and food. food's great as usual...

anyway u guys free on thurs or smth?? go out... stayover mahjong anything la. lets just go out... had so much time to let my imagination run free this trip to hk so a lot of ideas are coming to mind so many things i wanna do that they're all just bogging me down. were the 2 last sentences connected at all? no idea anyway my bro's awake so gtg. tata. AND BLOG!!

holidays

2006-03-13T18:15:00.000+08:00

holidays are damn fullfilling lor. Let me tell u guys wad i was doing the whole time....

wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.wake up. eat. sleep. eat. sleeep.

Very fun rite? I look forward to June Holidays :):)

tata

sick boy

2006-03-07T17:48:00.000+08:00

i'm sick!! don't know why i need to prove it or even give justifications that i'm sick. i took so much medicine and precaution (which i probably wouldn't have if it were just any normal day) to recover as fully as possible in time for play. cos the next few days are gonna be so exhausting... and bleh it's just sad to perform for a concert feeling sick. anyway shall write down what i did today...

i played dota one game in e morning... then did a bit of work... organize my table and sort out my thots... i constantly need to sort out my stuff. like order everything in my mind... and after i've done that mentally, even tho i've done nothing i feel a lot better and stuff becomes more manageable i guess.

watched broken arrow with my bro in the afternoon... after which i did finish my chem assignment and doing my maths tutorial now. i envisioned today to be a day that i'd do all my work and catch up with everything but bleh it wasn't as productive as i envisioned it to be.

oh yea i got a msg from my ct rep... that two guys (dom...who's a ct rep btw and terence) were confirm transferring out of class. yucks abandoned. i was nominated to be ct rep along with another guy... bleh don't feel like being. on one hand, it'd be quite nice to organize outings and stuff cos the class is so cool but on the other hand got so much responsibility... so yes i think i'd rather not be.

so many nights...

2006-03-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

to continue e song lyrics in the title... it'd be "... i'd sit by my window, waiting for someone, to sing me this song". mm nice oldie song. ok anyway right lolz not feeling anything particularly just got quite a lot of events happening simultaneously... so lemme try to remember as many of em as possible.

k our og outing... after band prac today i rushed off for my og outing. band attendance was horrible anyway... so many ppl didn't come tho most probably had reasons... bleh just hope play turns out well... i love this kind of concert to play songs that the audience likes so yup hope this concert will be good. at our og, i was hmm more comfortable?? yea i think so... cos there were ppl i knew... one of the crashers was a sec 4 classmate and yup stuck more to jc classmates too so more of myself instead of being so reclusive. dunked our ogl and few others into a pool... didn't get involved in it altho it was fun just watching... haha.

my dad came back tonight also. for my sis 21st bday... plus they're going to penang to pay respects to grandparents... so bleh no transport for the next week of school. and when i reached home, my table was in a mess!! my bro came in earlier to use the comp and there were like cuttings of paper all over the table and scissors lying about and the printer was on and my stack of printing paper was creased and AHHHHH got so irritated immediately when i saw the stuff. so i sent him a msg indicating i was pissed and bleh i calmed down soon after dat.

see the tide of workload is starting to crash in and my sight of my cip is slowly yucks blurring away. yes i gave up on group cip but i still wanna do my own... but as time passes it's getting more difficult to start (ee so sorry if this topic irks you guys but then yes it's impt to me so i'm constantly seeking to remind myself about this

it's 12!! HAPPY BDAY CAL!!! god bless u always with peace and happiness and yea all the good wishes ok. good night sweet dreams :)

t3t53qw2t53q2t5

2006-02-28T18:22:00.000+08:00

Hey.. Yes i know i cant remember when was the last time i blogged and neither can u. Life's just been so busy and hectic that i'm left with no energy to do the stuff that i really wanna do. NOTHING NOTHING DRAINED COMPLETELY. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Alright. I like lit. alot. And i hate econs and math. alot. And geog is. ok. and i have UGH Ok really sorry damn lazy to type in sentences just gonna use points.

Things to do

1) Look at those 2 freaking poems that i wanna look at .
2) Do my math assignment (impossible)
3)Study math ( impossible also)
4) Study physical geog (impossible wth)
5) Study Econs (KEEP ON DREAMING)
6) Read Great expectations (whee)
7) Read the papers (so depressing)
8) Watch the OC =)
9) Sleep =D

Zzz So what to do now? ok im damn tired now. The only things i can do are sleep/watch oc/read great expectations. Yawn wth. Aiya whatever larh im damn stressed EVERYTHING NEVER DO OMG SHITFACE.

I'll go shoot myself bye

aiyo...

2006-02-27T20:14:00.000+08:00

ee start blogging again!!

went gym today. literally having a conflict in my mind everytime i go... cos i'm reminded of the torture i go thru every time i exercise and feel so tempted to just sit at home and do nothing. but everytime i finish i feel so proud of myself cos it's such a big achievement (ok not really but for me it is) so yes i'll tell myself dat and see which side of my mind wins and that determines if i'll go gym!

so yes super tired now... and got physics and maths test tmr... topics seem ok enough but dono heard so much horror about the physics test that i don't feel like studying for it. ee but cannot cos i may end up knowing how to do all the qns and gasp win top in physics award!! -.- so delusional... lolz i never used to say this kind of thing sit next to wy in lt can do such wonders.

btw i haven't gave up on cip yet... just that the choices are really getting more limited and ee running out of places le... i'm trying to like tweak the options in the ematch thingie to get a few more places that may happen to fit but yea really difficult cos most will want like in the afternoons and stuff which we can't really manage. our earliest common time slot is on friday... and that's only after 4.

i just added my whole cat class on my msn... mm yup hope to bond with them to break down age barriers and stuff... just hoping :) ok gotta go finish up my studying of maths and physics... so shall end of with a poem. this poem is ms ng's favourite poem, which i was reminded of by the abstinence talk... think it's a really cool poem and yup here it is (ee spark of another burst of posts also)

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley; 1849-1903

:) so happy do nothing again...

2006-02-22T22:44:00.000+08:00

mm aiyo ok after sch went pasta with classmates... a few of them. like got 5 of us there only... but then quite fun la can talk and laugh with them mar... then everyone left except me and jasmine cos we gotta go back for band mar (shaun had colors so he wasn't there)... aiyo see la i was immediately thinking already if ANY of e band ppl see us sure make a big hoo ha out of it. but yes anyway so yup we walk back to sch... then she doesn't talk much... i'm generally quiet esp in this kind of situation so yes walk e whole way in uncomfortable silence.

then wait forever for the poster ppl to come back and went to e tutorial room to do poster with them... was so lethargic and no enthusiasm dono why also. must be pe la... mm dono zhong zhi super no energy. stone there until 5+ then went for ajisen with my sister...

lolz i was wondering wat would happen if e rest of e batch decided to drop in while i was having dinner with my sis. tink she'd get a shock to see wat boisterous ppl e batch are... but anyway so yup took bus home and walk back two bus stops (i usually take a bus ok... but since my sis was walking with me much more bearable).

reached home use e comp for super short while then went to sing karaoke with my sis downstairs... and now surfing around aimlessly... ok not very aimlessly but not very productive also. nvm shall use my 3 hours of free time... uh minus booth duty minus lunch is like 1 hour plus to do all my work. work in sch is so much more efficient than work at home... i mean like... at home gotta check everything yourself... in sch walking search engines are all around u!! just need to access e correct person. ask a qn get an answer. so efficient.

AHHH frustrated!!!!!

2006-02-21T18:12:00.000+08:00

sigh ok e seemingly perfect choices always seem to have some cock up or something. found this home and hospice for cancer children who need catching up with their work... tink it'd be really great BUT they only wanted ppl to come in e morning. so yes then like argh ok nvm i printed some stuff out show u guys tmr...

anyway right... dom and terence might be leaving our class. waa if they leave... we'd be missing another 2 guys... and our class is already so small, and more girls than guys and aiyo the ratio will just tip man. plus we'd be bereft of our ct rep... aiya hope they don't leave la think e class is so... mm not really united but then e spirit is there already. bleh but then dowan to say anything to them also to persuade them cos subject combi will have such a big impact in future mar... so aiya see how things go ba.

preparing a bday gift...

2006-02-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

ok lemme tell u guys my schedule for today. ended school at 11, and went library for a while, chit chat, did some work, and talk some nonsense until 2. ate lunch also la then went home after dat.

then... i plonked on my bed and started reading my da vinci code, intending to finish it by today... miraculously, i fell aslp... reading da vinci code!!! so amazing right zz dono how come i never used to be able to slp while reading... now more and more prone to sleeping e moment i'm on e bed.

so yup woke up around 5.30... went to e gym. yux ran until i wanna die like dat... but aiya must take action to ensure that my goal for napfa comes to pass ok. mm feel embarrassed everytime i go to e gym cos so inferior... so yes hope i nv meet anybody on e way. yucks. so yes super tired and drained now but then mm got stuff to blog abt.

at 8 (still havent' done any work yet cos i came home and ate dinner until abt 8), i went to one of e mushroomer's house (wenqi)... altho we were supposed to meet at 8, everyone just happily vanished... and i waited outside her house in the dark... counting cars pass by and staring back at the ppl who stare at me as they walk past (zz obviously i'm waiting for ppl right then wad some siao kang sit there and count cars arh...)

after they finally came we started on our present. we were make chocolate covered cornflakes!! melted the chocolate and mixed the corn flakes with the melted chocolate, and put the coloring. surprisingly (ok so horrible to say i'm surprised), it was nice!! aiya but then mm felt pretty bad that we didn't contact one of e guys (jz) so bleh left him out of e whole thing... sigh yes so guilty think it would have been a lot more fun with him there anyway.

so reach home at 11 with a box of the thingie each... got a plethora (cool word eh?? lolz got it off someone's blog... but it sounds so nice. 'plethora' mm ok anyway it means super-abundance) of the stuff cos we made so many... and ended up with 6 containers of it even tho we only needed 1 to give away.

sigh so yup haven't touch a piece of work... got e lit stuff and tutorials. not much lar actually all can finish in sch tmr de. oh yes and haven't call up the cancer home yet... ugh. ok ok tmr i better call if not forever dont need to do already... one quarter of e year is almost over... so fast right... my gosh how come e year's passing so fast. still remember in sec sch count forever for e weekend and holidays man. now everything's just flying past.

Getting pissed.

2006-02-20T21:01:00.000+08:00

Hi i know like ppl are like setting goals and targets and all while i'm still trying to straighten out my messy life. I dont know if i should say this here, but i guess i'm gonna just say it anyway.

People, can you all please stop spreading rumours about me?

I know you all find it fun and all, but there is a limit to your fun. Stop trying to find pleasure out of my misery. Worse of all is that you all are like closer friends, so stop doing this kinda shit (not people from f4). Don't know why the concept of close, good friends does not exist between a guy and a gal, everytime u see me alone with someone, you think im interested in her or that she is my girlfriend.

I'm not some flirt, i'm just the type that like to have more friends kind of thing. So when you see me alone with someone, she is just a friend. Don't cook up stupid story about some triangle love or some other shit. It is not only detrimental to my reputation, it is detrimental to the other person's image at the same time. Yea, so i hope those who read this, get the point. I'm don't enjoy being shrouded in rumours, its not particulary funny or anything.

Today had some random guy come up to me (as in really random) and ask me whether im in a relationship with someone. Thats like kinda the last straw. Im quite sick of this shit, even though it may seem as if i'm making a mountain out of a molehill.. Just lead your own lifes and stay out of mine.. yea. thats all

goals

2006-02-18T21:21:00.000+08:00

haha stop toking about goals will ya ?? :X Cos i just realised i dun really have any goals. lollol Like i dunno wad i wanna be when i grow up. everytime i start to think about these things i will just think of kelly clarkson and sleeeeping and eating. Then the next minute i will be falling asleeeep dreaming. My short term goal now is to have more sleeeping hours cos i always fall asleeep in lectures -.-" to do so i will have to forgo my desperate housewives on mon and American Idol on thurs and weds. Such high oppotunity costs. wooot

omg i just slept from 4 to 7 and i still sleeeepy now. My tutorials are pilling up. Shit lol my life is ruined. ok forget it. i shall go sleeeeep sooooon :)

thinking...

2006-02-18T18:59:00.000+08:00

hey... no one blogged for so long le. but then prob cos we meet up every morning anyway... talk to each other and all that... but yes still blog ok?? wateva we don't say in e mornings and stuff yea... (even tho meeting up is still so much better than blogging). but hmm like also must divide e time between og and morning leh... like mm can we uhh go for og until 7.20, then come down and meet?? or like meet them tues thurs, then we meet mon wed fri or smth like dat la...

anyway yes i just refreshed my memory on all my goals. some a bit private so won't put here... but then zz i realize i'm losing focus and ahh spiralling out of control. yes but then most impt is like e cip cos that's one of my most tangible aims this year and ahhh losing enthusiasm... so must lock my target on it and just commit to it soon. think workload starting to pile up a bit soon also so better get this down before i just let e year whoosh past.

bleh my thots are a bit in a jumble... feeling frustrated cos of loads of small things piling together but hey... dats life. so many things to do but dont' feel like doing anything... but cannot la somehow must do something... so yes while i'm in this mood lemme set down some commitments. i really hope my timetable doesn't change tho if not i'll be super irritated...

incidentally... lolz i have a bottle of powdered phenolpthalein sitting at my desk for a such a long time... stole it from e ntu lab last year. lolz!! just some random interesting thingie :)

ok lemme dota... and then do some work. inspector gadget is so silly anyway...

SUBG

2006-02-17T20:22:00.000+08:00

ben goh this is urs....

a reflection on life now...

2006-02-14T18:58:00.000+08:00

mm ok life now's good... absolutely fine (i think). the class is totally great i think my class rox... e ppl are really nice... but then ok maybe just haven't get to know them yet... not being cynical but then i guess things will open up more when i get to know them better...

apart from class, there's family. in this area... hm can't say too much but i guess things are just great. everyone's still caring and yup... basically all thx to my bro for pulling 3 of us siblings so much closer together again...

band? band's just great too the ppl there are so fun to hang arnd with... really really outgoing and ppl who laugh so often and mm just brings smiles to everyone's faces yea?

workload... workload haven't really been piling up and it's really a lot less compared to sec school. tutorials are manageable and altho lectures are boring and somestimes things aren't easy to understand, i'm usually able to get things worked out and everything just falls in place rather neatly at e end of e day. along with cca and the incoming cip, i think i'll still have quite a bit of time to myself for my own purpose i.e. reading, reflecting, dotaing, blogging etc...

all in all... i'm really pleased with things right now... can't ask for much more. life's just going so well... smooth and easy... but somehow i think it'll change... not only when tests come, but when ppl open and characters are revealed... then again it's up to me to make out what i wanna make of ppl isn't it. so maybe life still can be smooth and easy. *lolz casually glances at ben goh's msn and see his status as (asleep)*

but..wats missing... i feel something's still missing in life. not that i'm not contented and grateful for so much i've been given... but i still find myself looking for more. cip, dancing, sea sports, aikido... are they all just a form of proving something to someone? myself? or maybe a way to live life fuller? or wad??!! aiyo why do i hunger??

aunty anula and i talked about wat i was gonna be when i grow up... just somehow ran into that topic. and i realize i have no inkling. not even whether i was going into the sciences or the arts. wat do i want my life to be about??? wat am i gonna make out of life?

lolz teenage angst? today i found out e meaning of angst. such a crude word to explain a process so methodological and important. ppl dismiss this phase of questioning as angst and merely say that it'll pass and things will return to normal... but e qns are still unanswered eh? they're just simply left aside and ignored... and we continue day to day life worrying about details and seeing the steps infront of us instead of e goal at e end. e qns are so impt... they lead us to a meaningful life.

movies this week

2006-02-12T23:39:00.000+08:00

i watched constant gardener on sat night... the 11 pm show. lolz went to borders first with my bro so we were late to meet my sis... so we ran. from borders all e way to cine... zz have u ppl ever seen anyone running in orchard?? in slippers!! aiyo got stitches all e way there. and yes constant gardener was pretty boring. it got 4.5 stars tho so mm must be my taste or something... since when could beauty be judged anyway. not only was it boring, the camera was shaky, the storyline was slow moving and i was getting dizzy watching it and couldn't wait for it to end. all 3 of us were falling aslp in the show... even my bro... and that speaks a lot for e show man!! anyway it was super late la... the show finished around 1+ and we were all supper zonked out by e end of it.

today, i watched schindler's list with my bro at home... it's a super long show. two sided dvd... first time i watch a show which extends over 1 dvd. moreover, it's in black and white!! so yes real breakthru in movie watching this week... two shows which i found boring... i fell aslp for a short while in schindler's list too. mm dono not very moved by this kinda thing... as in not 'not touched' but cannot cry one la... unlike my dad who will be very touched with this kind of show... hotel rwanda and the likes.

fiddling around with friendster... mm richard's like super devoted to the RDs... wonder why. did we really make such a big impression on him?? hmm so interesting... to see how much impact u've made on a person... oh yes that reminds me. i wanna go redang!! snorkling or something somewhere wateva... june? lolz yao qu ma... eoy no chance cos its monsoon season... so yes take a break of your mugging for CTs and lets go overseas together. yes got a lot of things to consider... transport, travelling docs, lodging all dat shit but i'll take a leaf out of my sister's book... she organize before for her group of frensi tink.

anyway yes ben goh i'm waiting for your dota game to finish (if thats what you're doing)... can't sleep without your answer!!!!

grammys

2006-02-12T21:23:00.000+08:00

princess diaries 2!!!

2006-02-11T21:28:00.000+08:00

woo disney channel rox... just watched princess diaries 2. altho i watched it before la so not a very big thing but then it's still a nice show... mia (e princess... dono wat actress she is) is really pretty tho... but e guy's quite ugly. anyway e show is so utopic... everything all fun and laughter and no serious danger. ok actually i don't have a lot of things to say about this show just telling everyone that i just watched princess daries 2 again and it was rather nice.

lolz ok going to watch movie later... north country i think. with my bro and sis at 11 pm... late show... then my bro also borrowed schindler's list and one more dvd... both of which i wanna watch so yes lots of movies to watch this weekend!! lolz plus i watched fearless too on friday with my sec 4 class... so mm movies!! movies are really one of e best form of entertainment... they provide so much learning experience... compared to things like comp games. so yes i'll remind myself this everytime i watch a movie... lolz convince myself i'm not wasting time.

and tmr's another busy day i think... got cat class. missed last week's cos i had to see my dad off at e airport... still supposed to go to kovan to return my books and print photos. and lazy to do my tutorials of course hai yong shuo de meh??

mm ok lemme go change and prepare to go town... i don't even know wad north country is about...

AHHH yucks i lost 6 bucks

2006-02-10T23:22:00.000+08:00

eeya lost 6 bucks today in mahjong... shit lor forever cannot get anything nice... then got one guy just anyhow today just learn then waaaa so lucky win everything. super sleepy... shall go and sleep

Belated post

2006-02-09T20:53:00.000+08:00

Went gymming today... lol super exhausted.My birthday was spent at the cinemas with my cousins watching geisha.. not a bad show.. but pretty long.. 2 1/2 hrs. Before that we went pastamania.. and she treated me. Lol.. still owe her a birthday present.. so paiseh.. i went empty handed.. coz i was busy the previous few days (excuses)Then at night went to eat steamboat. My family quite against it, but they obliged. Frankly the steamboat sux.. didnt taste nice.. then after that went for ice cream.. not bad lah.. it was my mum's idea to go eat ice cream. haha.. yea. then went home to watch soccer.. Bet with my classmate and won lol! but then she bought me a birthday present.. so i treated her to a drink instead. lol thnx mel, cal and ben for the wallet.. i didnt know u all chipped in too, so pardon me for not thanking you guys earlier :D thnx ah lol really appreciate it :D its cool !

blind faith...

2006-02-08T22:59:00.000+08:00

lolz ok u guys know i went for e catechist meeting...

one thing we talked about was like... no matter how much proof there is, or how much answers we give... e youths (like e ppl we teach... altho i'm not really teaching i'm just a youth helper there. more like to share and relate to e students then to actually teach them... that's done by e adults) are still gonna doubt and have even more qns. there's a whole field on proving catholicism... it's called 'apologetics' or something... loads of answers to loads of qns.

and then i think about my mum. her belief in e catholic ways are really so strong... and yet if you ask her things like why we honor Mary, she'll probably give an illogical answer and doesn't really know herself. but e conviction is so strong and she's so contented with her own beliefs and mm... see she has attained e peace and contentment that so many people search for... i mean not that she doesn't has a fair share of problems what when e day ends and problems pile up, her faith is so strong that she can just sit and trust in God... and just find solace so easily. definitely something to be envious about eh? simplicity's e keyword.

lolz btw not evangelizing anyone... i generally don't like doing that cos zz i have so little head knowledge about catholicism and cannot answer all e qns that ppl will have if i try to convert.

:O

2006-02-08T18:34:00.000+08:00

lol hey hey hey!!! SO NICE! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I was feeling so freaking sleepy and was about to faint on the comp then saw the kelly video. Jolted me awake just like that. haha and oh yea i've been wanting to say this so long.. the background rocks! Ah.. such a brilliant display of colors and duh the true american idol right in the centre of it all. It's just awesome! =D =D =D

Been a long time since i last blogged, right? Ya.. no mood. forever. There're just so many things happening at the same time that it's getting mighty difficult to keep track of it all. Wait for this unstable phase to pass first ba. Emotional days really.. sometimes happy until become crazy other days depressed until go mad. Haha.. well at least i'm really beginning to adore my class. Ok dont wanna jinx it further so let's leave it at that.

Yup.. been taking things easier.. Watching OC at home.. listening to radio forever.. reading the newspapers... ..... .... and completely ignoring the existence of my undone screwed up math tutorials. Nvm.. i'll wake up sooner or later. now let me enjoy life abit first.. seeing how sad i've been feeling recently. If do math now right i'll just foam and depart this world.

Nowww let me continue watching the oc and read the papers and read lime and savour all the gossip in it. Cya

lalala

2006-02-07T20:38:00.000+08:00

Ben Goh must watch this LoL I tink it is very nice. Melvyn wun like this.lol

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENNY!!!

2006-02-05T21:29:00.000+08:00

yoohoo happy birthday!!!!!! may god bless u on this 17th year and... (bla bla e cliche stuff u know... i already msg u anyway so yes skip e crap ok?) zz wait it's not crap la just um u know usual stuff...

so shopping... shopping for MY stuff only. that's a change... went with my sis to town to get my stuff. yup suntec has really cool stuff... bleh don't feel like describing anything. anyway yup i bought contact lenses!! took forever to put them on at first... rather scary and i keep blinking. but yup it's quite a strange thing i keep pushing my nose cos that's what i do when i have my glasses... push them up and fiddle with them. so yup just like trying them out or something... and then use them for special occasions. think i still prefer glasses.

yup and i bought my RJ uniform le... but the pants must alter so cannot wear yet. so lolz yes come to school after gelling hair, rj uniform and in contacts... shock everyone with my new look... no la talking nonsense. also bought the whole dan brown series and a new pair of jeans (mm i used to detest jeans... but now start to wear them hard to stop wearing).

so happy to announce: i did absolutely nothing this weekend... but i know you guys all did the same thing as me :) btw my freaking arms still hurt la... and pe was on thurs so thats like wad 2 days already... so lousy. zzzzz

circuit training... among other stuff

2006-02-02T19:06:00.000+08:00

we had circuit training for pe today... which included dips and other stuff. special mention goes to dips cos like wad i've never exercised that set of muscles in these 4 years or something? dono la zhong zhi super sore from e dips... e others still ok but obviuosly still damn tiring. so yes had dance audition for movie medley and latin but i ponned it... had a bit of headache plus i was tired. jc life arh... cca doesn't matter, homework also don't matter... so tempted to "wanna do then do don't wanna do then don't do" kind of attititude... mm rely a lot on self-discipline i guess. but in a sense i also feel free-er and in more control... but ppl always say freedom and control are illusions and stuff dono la haven't gave it much thot yet.

so yes CIP... i hear more and more stories about everyone's experience with it. i called up one organization today... "beyond social services" http://www1.nvpc.org.sg/npo/ematch/EM_vprog.asp?page=1&vpID=33&fr=volres there's e webiste if u guys wanna check it out. e children are like really young below 6 or pri school kids that sort... and yup give them tuition, reading, maths tuition that kinda thing. e catch? mm it's at tiong bahru... there's another one for youths... but that's like bedok... lolz suitable for benny.

e thing is... it's really difficult to find a common time slot. nearly everyday, 1 of us 4 are ending late... monday's e earliest... 4 pm for ben goh and cal. then there's also e problem of whether you'll will be comfortable with e group of ppl that kinda thing... i mean right now it's super personal and preferences are really important... after all its voluntary so yup u guys must make decisision. aiya remind me to talk to you guys about it tmr...

sometimes i really wonder wat other ppl do at home. not u 3... generally know wat u guys are doing lolz. but other ppl who like so seldom come online... some don't even do work... not super studious that kind... don't read a lot... don't play a lot of games. esp sports ppl... i mean like they can't play anything in e night right? so wat are they doing?? hmmm...

got some personality test for KI again all this kind of stoopid shit. this kind of thing arh is so hmm "self-fulfilling prophecy" kind of thingie. aiya not in e mood to think deep. lit!!! we did nothing... almost nothing la just everyone just go and read their favourite poems... mine happened to be e same as someone else's so i didn't read... i was actually looking forward to it tho. "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost". for those who read it it's nice yea?

Crap

2006-02-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

Today was kinda crappy.. decided not to be so dao.. so went around laughing and "socialising"... i laughed my way thru thermal physics lecture lol.. coz my classmate kept talking about scenes from xiao hai bu ben too, which was uber funny...

Morning had 1 and 1/2 hr of free period coz teacher didnt come.. then was undecided between sleeping and doing the work which we were assigned... i tried to sleep... but then keep waking up to look around me.. and most ppl were doing work.. so i did abit.. but after a while.. i was convinced to sleep coz didn't feel like doing... however after a while more... decided to attempt a few questions again... and the cycle repeated until lesson ended.. so in the end... never sleep and did not get the work done -.-"

After school, I went for "class lunch" even though less than 1/3 of the class was there. As it turned out, hardly anyone ate... we just drank our tea.. and talk rubbish lol. Yiheng was there too... so his presence added more rubbish to the rubbish atmosphere.. rubbish = casual, crappy..

Oh yea.. and this morning.. found out that i didnt get into archery. This is both good and bad news.. coz now im stuck with band without having to make the decision.. Ok but i may leave band for another cca.. though its a little early to conclude anything.

Hows life? haiz. Feel zapped of all my energy... why? i dont really know.. maybe was too hyper in school today. :)

mm long time nv blog le...

2006-02-01T20:18:00.000+08:00

not dat long lar actually like 3 4 days only but then i check e blog quite a few times a day so feels like its a long time.

reached home rather early... a bit later then expected cos i accompanies my class to pastamania for lunch. so torturous sit there see and smell the delicious pasta and got nothing to eat... cos aunty anula cooked already so must go back and eat. so yes was contemplating whether to call up the cip guys but then bleh just couldn't do it... dono also la zz so pathetic. must steel myself and call e next time.

anyway right my sis doesn't encourage me to join dance... she thinks it's gay and she definitely doesn't want me to quit band. prob cos like my flute will deterioriate and stuff and mm already spent so much on e flute that kinda thing. aiya dono la... dance isn't meeting my expectations anyway. but i'll just try out a few more times... seems so ke xi everyone thinks its such a big hoo ha to get into dance and lolz i'm thinking of quitting... sigh well life's like that.

anyway cny. finally my bank account is like restored to its former glory!!! wahahaha. lolz also 1 think that came out from this cny visiting... was a lot of rapport and a bit more bonding i think. lolz like i discovered that i have 2 cousins which i really liked... one 5 one 7 years old... age gap between our cousins have always been very big. and plus our old neighbour's old neighbour's wife is my sis very good friend in working place (lolz yes my sis is an aunty-killer... all e aunties she work with dote on her a lot. she's nice see? like me!! haha) and her husband was my SYO conductor!!! small world eh? anyway yes... so yup hope to get to know them better (as in the neighbours... not the neighbour's neighbour. are u guys confused already?)

ok yup friday after school... cal ends at 5. so u guys free after that? for a quick thingie... just wanna go j8 and get a photo. thats all. and then i got og bbq in the evening... zz that one arh cannot miss already so yes i shall put it down here so that u guys can remind me forever on the bbq.

nian chu san

2006-01-31T12:00:00.000+08:00

I noe that the background pic is disgusting. SO I shall change it. Sooner or later lol. And I havent done any tutorials yet. Tmr go school then shall face my teachers' wrath. Cya.

Btw The Grammys is shown at 10pm on Feb 9. Lalala. Unless I can pon school then can watch at 9am.

tata

Happy New Year

2006-01-29T23:33:00.000+08:00

Hi happy CNY.

So sad so little ppl wish me Happy CNY today.

aiya anyhow give title lar... its just about these two days.

2006-01-28T22:19:00.000+08:00

yoyo everyone... was supposed to blog last night but i fell aslp and so when i woke up in the morning i just switched off my comp and poof one paragraph of post is gone. these two days arh... important days with important events so must blog yes... for my own personal record even if u guys knew how it went already.

yesterday: school was mm unexpected. celebrations so anyhow de... anyone can just go anywhere to do anything. our class sat down in a circle in the parade square and we played games. cherades and stuff yep that was pretty fun... esp lolz when ppl keep coming up with interesting games. 'sha and fan sha' and lolz... so cool de

then i went with ack to go visit the teachers back in RI... we cooperated and brought oranges for each teacher that taught us... and yup went to bai nian to all of em. then zz saw one of e og z'rool and he asked me if i was going for lunch later. my mind, working at its usual fast and amazing manner, immediately concocted such a powerful lie on the spot and i happily spouted, "oh i'm going out with my parents". of course i also happily forgot that i'd be j8 with u guys and most likely to meet them there and zz be in such a difficult situation.

anyway so amazing i didn't run into them at all before the movie. except one of e guys la... but den he also had class outing and didn't go for the og lunch. so i shot back his qn of "why aren't u at og lunch?!" with e exact qn. yay so happy!! -.- wats there to be happy about... so yep I NOT STOOPID TOO. oh my gosh oh my gosh super nice super touching... very very nice. e main reason why must blog about the whole of yesterday. it was so good oh my gosh so touching some more... teared so many times throughout the show... and cried twice at the two family's climatic scene. i tink e show really really rocked... will definitely get the dvd and watch again. btw next time movie marathon, kill bill and underworld's on e list k? underworld's really good... it's like vampire vs werewolves how cool is dat!! and mm prerequisite for underworld: evolution which is coming out soon i think.

ok so yep... not only did i skip og outing, i skipped class outing too!! bleh that concerned me quite a bit and i kept asking myself whether should have gone for class outing instead of organizing movie for f4. but as my bro said, i already went for e movie and bleh can't do anythign abt it... but mm he also warned me not to just stick with e clique and to broaden my social circle. ahh i'll see when e time comes again. besides, e movie was too good...

lemme reflect on e movie. it involved two guys, both of which were really shuai, in normal tech... and about e gap between them and their parents. some things really quite exaggerated... but very touching all e same. and they change from funny scene to touching scene so instantaneously... i tot the funeral picture thingie was so inappropriate. e deathbed scene was one very nice part, e other was e blog scene... and e other was the old woman scene. lolz e old woman is so pro anyway...

after e show went to walk around in marina, bowl a bit and went for aunty anula's bday dinner at banana leaf!! food was ok only i tot... but e rest of my family really likes it and of course aunty anula likes it too. and yep dat was pretty much it for yesterday. bleh cos there's so much to write (a lot of minor details) i think i'm like skimming over a lot of reflections so zz must bear with it ok... dis post is more for myself than for any reader of e blog - it's a form of memory.

and today, i went to watch in her shoes with my dad and sis. lolz we went early to PS to walk around for a while... and my dad did his usual thingie of pretending to be interested in e osim massage chair product. and we all just trooped in, plonked in on one of e chairs and started e massage program. lolz and my dad just conversed with e saleswoman to take up time. lolz so funny... do this kind of stoopid shit. but it was ok only... my dad and sis both say e massage and shenzhen soooo much better. i wanna try but my mum says i'm too young so i never tried... not yet at least.

in her shoes was ok only i tot... my bro said it was super nice. and my sis and dad all liked it... but i think e effect was kind numbed cos i just watched i not stoopid too... which i felt was much more touching and a lot better than in her shoes.

came home then for reunion dinner... which consisted of steam boat plus seoul garden style frying. aunty anula prepared all e raw food and we just cooked it ourselves. soup after dat was super nice... as usual steam boat soup is damn sweet. aunty anula's soup is already so good... then plus steam boat stuff = heaven.

aiya damn tired le so long this post... tedious also zz boring and uninteresting. whole family went out with brilliant to bishan park after dinner and dats it. fullstop.

gong xi fa cai everyone...

humans rock

2006-01-27T00:55:00.000+08:00

Yo.. whatssup. just got back home from the humanities party. It was so fun loh.. The seniors are all so cool and such fun people. Yea and i realized that my class's really great too. Lazy to blog about what happened but.. to put it simply, we had the party at the clubhouse, went off to holland village, settled at the coffee club and went home. Nice people all.. and i owe the world money. Better dig for $$$ in my brother's... drawer or something. Night..

music...

2006-01-26T22:15:00.000+08:00

so much of the thrill i get in life comes from music. be it singing, playing piano, playing guitar, playing flute, or dancing (we haven't really danced with music tho). and sometimes... when i hear something really nice... i feel like i can almost flow with it... i'll get goosebumps one leh. lolz like when we perform in band (thinks of prometheum) i'll get goosebumps when we reach e climax of e piece that kinda thing. anyway was just practicing guitar and tot i'd blog a bit about things running thru my head right now. listening to the prince of egypt soundtrack... 'deliver us' it's a super good soundtrack... but prob cos it brings back memories of e movie when i heard e song so got stronger impact.

today was a rather fun day i thought. jared came to talk to me while i was in the canteen!! so surprised he seldom talk to me then suddenly come to sit with me in the canteen. lolz i was doing work... had 2.5 hrs break mar so stay in canteen... and i was sitting quite far apart from e class also... then he came and tell me that in canteen cannot sit alone and cannot do work cos very loser. lolz!!! so cool suddenly start talking to me just like that.

suddenly feel so carefree. came home in a great mood... lolz excited about tmr's outing, visit teachers, collect ang pao, gamble. actually aiyo really feel guilty about not going tmr's class outing... but aiya holiday so precious everyone rushing to make best use of it. plus i went to cut my hair... freaking ex 23 bucks... went to a different barber cos e usual one i went was closed and moreover, got cny surcharge. ugh but then arh... got dono some rinsing and head massage and generally quite comfortable hair. lolz uhh all nonsense. filling up e blog with crap posts.

sobz damn tired... help got headache!!!

2006-01-25T19:32:00.000+08:00

WAAA super mega tired tmr sure muscles ache. dance is already quite demanding... then some more got PE in the afternoon. then cos of PE i had so little life during dance also... and zz screwed up the latin audition (there's latin, hip hop and movie medley).

ok i got a lot of things to say... not really a lot lar but just my usual crap. but then zz can't think properly now... shall take a nap... headache yux.

--------------------------------------------------------------

zz jiu ming arh woke up and my headache was even worse. someone took a hammer and whacked me and i'm reeling from e impact... but then had to force myself out of bed to see my 9 oclock show. 3rd last episode!!!!! oh my gosh la its so nice... yes finally ann kok is exposed. the mother is the most poor thing lar... blow after blow feel so sad... then stoopid jeslin tay also refuse to accept thomas ong -.- feel so sad for thomas ong. see la watch this show everything also sad watch to become sad watch for wad zz... but so super nice lor.

anyway yes got quite a bit of work today... prepare for ki essay tmr plus reading my lit stuff. luckily my headache gradually decrescendoed (lolz wat kind of shit word is dat) until i can work a bit now... if not i was just thinking of going to sleep immediately after the show. oh yes wanted to share a bit about our ki lesson...

we had a discussion about self. btw lemme comment on the teacher. she's like e din of academic studies so lolz yes super big shot and powerful... rather scary also actually but then so far not really any major outburst yet. but then, like most of e philo teachers we've had, she has a really irritating habit of sticking to her own stand and twisting our answers to her stand and adding subtle hints to support or not support some stand that we agree on. i mean... ok definitely ppl sure come up with a stand but if u become so fixed that u refuse to see e light of a more logically sounder argument then bleh... quite crappy arh esp since u're a teacher after all. and they keep telling us about being open-minded.

but sometimes a bit inevitable. we formulate our own theories... things that we feel secure in. and we build a comfort zone around ourselves... and so anything that comes our way we try to twist it so that it fits our theories, instead of using it to formulate our theories. in dat sense, everything suddenly becomes not so clear... cos we're behind a veil of our prejudices everytime we view something. tot of giving u guys an example but then decided against it... i'm sorta against examples in philosophy cos they often reveal only a narrow aspect of the theory, but then of course quite impossible to do without the support of examples.

ANYWAY, we were discussing about the idea of self. things like "wat's self, can a comp get a self, do animals have selves?" stuff like that. ended up with a few interesting qns (at least for me lar)... wat differentiates us from animals? and... if someday there were computers advanced enough to learn and to make logical deductions and attain self-awareness (stuff like terminator... which is extremely good movie series. and dune... lolz very good novel series also), wat differentiates them from us then?

aiyar actually i think u guys won't be interested with this shit so lolz i shall just skip it. but ki's really rather interesting except that there's not really enough time for full scale discussions. oh yes... we had our mock napfa for pe today. so horrible below average for every single event. so embarrassing but then mm i know all these are all just first impressions. i'm not feminine but i'm not manly either (e model guy = tall, dark, handsome, sporty, fit etc). i was always smallest in class so yep learnt to live with these kind of things long time ago. just that for 4 years... it's been a while since first impressions mattered so much. and now everyone's so eager to be part of e trend. just consoling myself that in a few months time, everything will settle, first impressions will be shattered and all that matters will be character and personality.

we have a class outing this fri... couldn't go cos i tot we were celebrating bday with aunty anula (btw it's aunty anula's 10th year anniversary!!! she literally watched me grow up!)... but it turned out we'e going for lunch instead. so yep skipping my class outing. a bit guilty but then... hmm so rare that got hol... and besides, got many more opportunities to get closer to e class (2 years leh) but rare to find common time slots to spend with other ppl. e more i get to know e class tho, e more i like e ppl that are there... really glad that they're gonna be my classmates for 2 years (lolz scully in a few months i'm saying a totally different thing - first impressions.)

is e post like super long? i think it is... shall go off and sleep soon. gotta wake up damn early tmr (5.45) cos my dad playing golf or something. he's back until after chi new year. mm tata everyone... enjoy e rest of e week. there's lit tmr!!

chunk of things in my mind

2006-01-24T20:33:00.000+08:00

waa i got a lot of things in my mind right now i'm probably going to forget quite a few. ok firstly, CIP.

Volunteer Work at IMH (Woodbridge Hospital)
http://www1.nvpc.org.sg/npo/ematch/EM_vprog.asp?page=1&vpID=423&fr=volres

Student Care Centre
http://www1.nvpc.org.sg/npo/ematch/EM_vprog.asp?page=1&vpID=26&fr=volres

Youth Services
http://www1.nvpc.org.sg/npo/ematch/EM_vprog.asp?page=1&vpID=27&fr=volres

Learning Centre
http://www1.nvpc.org.sg/npo/ematch/EM_vprog.asp?page=1&vpID=33&fr=volres

k go take a look at these 4 websites... i think somehow sure got problems either with time commitment, or they may not even accept us cos they want ppl above 18 that kinda thing... but then there's this girl in my class that has done long term CIP before last year, so i'll try to get more info from her. so in the mean time, pls feedback on these 4 websites... feedback ok!! so rarely u ppl are onlien together and so mah fun to ask each person individually. so just do it on e blog.

for friday, our movie is at 12.30... u guys ok with that? i'm gonna spend e free time going to visit my sec 4 teachers. oh and my bro says in her shoes is really really nice... so lolz when u guys free go watch... i'm watching it with my sis on sat i think. "eh let's watch!!" "set!!" lolz i'm always rather ready to watch a movie.

i'm gonna sacrifice 5 days of dota (including yesterday) to watch finish the 9 o clock show!! so noble of me!! lolz!! but its really very nice leh... and aiya regretted being tempted by dota and not watching e earlier parts of e show. its super funny also... lolz while playing dota i laugh to myself soemtimes cos of my sister's hysterical laughter -.- its like a machine gun. something like it at least. so yes ann kok can really act such a bitch... zz feel like strangling her and slapping her (yi ba zhang!!). i get easily affected by shows i think... but mm all these kind of things are good wad. new experience, new values stuff like that its not just pure entertainment... and i'm not saying this to delude myself ok!!

lit today rocked again... ms ng sang us a ballad!! how cool is that lar!! her voice is quite nice also... lolz e whole class was deadly (maybe wrong adjective) silent while she sang the ballad for us... super mega nice. bleh dreading tmr's PE... it's e morning session for this week. managed to escape so many times of e torture but tmr's is inevitable. resigned to putting my withering muscles to the rack.

so yep its 9!! off to see my show... when u guys read reply on CIP and e movie k?

Tired

2006-01-23T21:24:00.000+08:00

Benny you very dao3 mei2 hor ...... I can picture that awkward scene lar, with the pissed girl staring at you like she wants to rip you apart like that. rofl

lol Ben goh, some ppl are just devoid of emotions lar, like me like that, forever wun smile one. lol Yar some ppl, altho u may not see them much in a week, make really gd friends and can really share your joy, laughter, sadness, anger and rubbish the moment you see them ... ... these are mainly ur close friends lor I suppose.

Anyway so diu lian today, maths tutorial I did until question 10 for tut 0 then I realise the whole class did until question 14. Aiyo can tiao4 lou2 zi4 sha1 already lar. Then the teacher called me up to present the answer somemore lor ... wahlao. Today I very dao3 mei2 also, I keep swinging my right hand during chem prac. The first time i swung my arm, it hit the phenolpthalain bottle and spilled it all over the floor, the second time I pushed the whole measuring cylinder and it sorta droped. Then it broke. Into a millino pieces. And I had to pay $1.50. WAT IS THIS???? RI drop kick bang throw burn demolish rip tear break anything also dunneed to pay. And I never break anything last time lor. Then come JC I break this break that.... aiya break everything lar.

Haiz. :(

bro's 21st bdae

2006-01-23T21:20:00.000+08:00

lol celebrated my bro's 21st bdae at a pub. My family like booked the whole upstairs of the pub for him.. and he invited all his different groups of friends and relatives... The pub is called Penny Black.. the one at clark quay.. It was quite cool lah.. Like theres food, beer and all. Drank a little beer but after that i went away for a while, and they cleared my glass...wanted to ask for more.. but it like reached the max already.. anything after that must pay additional cost. so didnt bother.

My bro was from chior and he invited all the syc ppl, and they sang.. for a moment i didnt believe the music was actually being sung live coz it was super melodious with all the chords and all... my bro also did a duet with this gal who's voice is like those soprano singers u see on television.. out of this world.

I hung around mostly with my relatives, didnt go mingle with his friends.. overall was just sit around and chit chat.. the atmostphere's quite warm.. rustic kinda feeling... I wonder where my 21st bdae will be...

Crap...

2006-01-23T21:09:00.000+08:00

Ok there are two things that are crappy...

1. I am sick.. down with sore throat, cough and flu...

2. I stupidly went to read some gals journal across the table, which contained a love note.. So she slammed shut the book and stared at me..

Ok maybe i did no. 2 because of no.1 and not thinking straight... dunno lah.. i think should go apologise to her..

World world world..

2006-01-23T19:58:00.000+08:00

Yea.. Some people are just that.. No point wondering why they're who they are.. And as jc life has told me, there're simply too many kinds of people around here.. and to avoid unpleasantness, a forced smile devoid of any warmth has to be constantly flashed to everyone out there, regardless of what u think of them. Call it fake whatever.. but that's so necessary for survival. A simple withdrawal, conversation avoidance can lead to so much.. gossip false impressions and misunderstandings. Gets extremely exhausting at times.. but ah well! Amongst the many many acquaintances that you have, some will emerge as true friends whom u can totally rely on and bitch gossip criticise cheer rejoice screw around and have lots and lots of fun together. Hehe..

So well! Today's been quite a great day for me! Despite the fact that i'm the only one dozing off in tutorials and lectures, the classes aren't as bad as i expected them to be. I really like the teachers and the way they teach. They're so much better than Lowhore and CheenaHock. Lit and Geog are simply superb. Very interesting and engaging. Had my odac and interact interviews today.. Hope i didn't fare too badly. Really wanna join both clubs.. gonna be so so so damn happy if i get into both of them. Haha.. See how it goes!!!

And now i've got to do my math tutorial. Yes, tutorial ZERO. Never do it forever den so thick skinned sit at the first row stare straight into the tutor's face. Bloody shameless.. all suang's fault loh forever wanna sit in front. Everyone's table had paper with all the workings scribbled onto them and i have a blank piece of shit. Better do some questions today.. Otherwise tomorrow die liao.

.... Last thing.. Hmm.. feeling rather.. worried about not passing the scholarship interview.. don't even know when issit but im seriously very behind the others in studies.. but i'm gonna try my best anyway.. and it'll have to start with my completion of the tutorial. ok! cya guys!!

difference in viewpoints...

2006-01-23T00:01:00.000+08:00

so... i just happened to read up on this guy's (who belongs to a clique of ppl) blog. and whoa, great diff in viewpoints yea? unabashedly (lolz is there such a word), i can safely say i tot his clique were shallow ppl and mega posers and not really good to mess with...

so after reading his blog i got a huge insight into their lives and my opinion of them has totally changed!!! nonsense. i still think they're shallow, ruthless and shouldn't be messed with. they can be nice? they justify all their wrong-doings with the statement 'i won't allow anyone to insult my friend' bleh defending your friends is an easy part cos going down on enemies is so easy... plus it makes u looks cool!! -.- so after all the suanning, all the noble defending and patriotism to their own clique... do they care about their victim at all?

sometimes... a much more better judge is e way ppl treat enemies, strangers, and juniors rather than how ppl treat seniors and friends. actually arh got a lot mroe to talk about but then my sis asking me to sleep le so better go off first... good night sweet dreams everyone.

*aiyo i editted this post so that its more anonymous... but then somehow ppl will prob figure out who i'm talking about...*

if it's over

2006-01-22T16:39:00.000+08:00

Behind These Hazel Eyes

2006-01-22T16:25:00.000+08:00

readers of our blog!!!

2006-01-21T18:21:00.000+08:00

gosh did u guys know that so many ppl read our blog... i just discovered today that glen reads our blog!! but then shouldn't be surprised lar since i am so shamelessly advertising it on my msn nick.

mm have a lit essay to do this weekend... but dat should be about all for hw. yep so i managed to get into dance... and so i have to appeal (talk to both dance and band teachers) for the extra cca... but i'm worried about later. esp next year... like 2 syfs?!! then wad... so i choose either band or dance? i really think i'll like dance... and if i do happen to like dance as much as i think i will, then wat about band? so yes... as much as i have sworn loyalty to band before this and all other nonsense i'm gonna contradict myself and consider quitting band. but after going for band prac today i'm feel so torn again despite coming to a conclusion of quitting band if i happen to really like dance. i mean... the section is just so cool and so fun... and ahh the ppl are really nice. sobz i'm so sorry calvin and benny if i quit band... but ok i'll just see how it goes first... and maybe like after a few months then i'll decide. of course thats if i can even get past the appeal stage.

btw community service!! any one of u guys wanna do? after e student development lesson... of which it seemed that only i was listening -.- i realized that they're making it rather easy for us to do cip... so yep i'm interested in it. lolz lemme give u guys an idea of wat exactly i'm interested in... a commitment of perhaps maybe once a week plus minus to coach/teach/tutor children, or to interact with teens or to talk to old folks and similar unfortunate ppl stuff like that. yea so its not admin, its not fund raising nor is it just lending a hand to e centre to help out in cleaning or along those lines. i'm looking more for interaction... mm i think somehow (esp for young ppl) interaction will make a biggest difference cos they can see how they can become like u and really see u as someone they can follow. of course its not only they learning... but we learning also. aiya dono how to describe it. but then i know that for me, if i wait later into the year, i'll be bogged down with work and too busy to consider this CIP. but if i start now, while i'm still free, i'll be committed and even tho later in the year i'll be busy i've already committed and so i'll continue and still manage to cope. e whole point is starting and putting down e commitment.

so yep pls reply... then if like u guys are interested or something i can do some research... it's really really difficult doing it myself so :) definitely be glad if u guys wanna join. if u don't wanna join pls don't join (seriously) cos end up disillusioning everyone. -.- wanna join join don't wanna join don't join. simple kimple. my CT told us that she never believed in not being able to cope. somehow, i kinda believe in dat so even tho i predict that i'll be really bogged down i think i'll manage somehow... it's just a matter of actually getting down to it... and now that the opportunity has come up, i'm gonna try to take it. i've been thinking and talking empty words about CIP for so long... lemme try to put into action yea? (ok this is gonna sound so stoopid if i end up not doing anything about CIP at all... which is so typical of me. all my grand plans come to nothing -.-)

zz ok so irritated with this my post vanished TWICE!!

2006-01-19T19:38:00.000+08:00

shall just upload e pic i drew. its an exact copy of a picture... but lolz it's a good copy right? mm i should try something original but i think i'll fail miserably tho.

ok la maybe i write a bit more. lit was super fun today... (see la lost all my inspiration in my last two post now devoid of emotion -.-) instead of a full post shall summarize wat i wanted to write instead. felt my life taking a sudden change in direction after suddenly realizing that i like singing, drawing, signed up for dance auditions, like playing e flute, and think lit and ki are my fav lessons. so its like mm... e stirring of change from a safe and secure road of science to a road less travelled of uh arts? mm dono la (zz i described all this so much more vividly in my last post ugh)

lit rox... our teacher really really rox. she's so super funny me and my fren keep laughing at her accent but then she herself is so cheerful and lively and jittery. she found a few poems really amusing today and burst out laughing which made all of us laugh also... lolz she's really nice e lessons are so interesting cos of her.

so yup cal when u read this... if i don't notice u online tell me your timetable k? wanna know your break and ending time for each day.

zz my sis is so irritating

2006-01-18T21:19:00.000+08:00

just got scolded again for playing games. don't enjoy now then enjoy when. not as if i dono how to manage my time. keep threatening to tell my dad and ask my dad take e comp out of my room deliver childish ultimatums like dat whine and bitch until like dat. disgusting. i would like to remind her about my results... but she'd probably just call me arrogant as she did with me when i refused to buy chocolate for her and argued with her about it. ugh.

bet if she read this she'll just flare up or something and say i'm rude maybe even complain to my dad or mum... but zz i'll take dat chance. at least she'll know how i feel. thats the problem with teens and maturity. they're not adult yet but ppl scold them for being childish when they watch cartoons and stuff... they're not children but ppl try to control their lives and think they don't know what they're doing. its no wonder teenagers have a whole set of problems to themselves.

bleh repercussions... wonder wat this post will cost if my sis reads it. think she reads my blog. anyway lets talk about school. had my dance audition today... think dance is really fun but really tiring too. maybe its just cos we had a run today (small 1.6 km run) but being e unfit person that i am, i was still tired out. e dance involved a lot of jumping and really a lot of practice so yep really quite tiring... i think i stand a good chance of getting in (feel so shameless saying this scully don't get in then so embarrassing) i hope. so yep quite tired out now... luckily there's not much hw to do.

zz still thinking of e stoopid incident. nvm better tink now and record my thots cos later arh my anger gone then i'll just happily forget everything. whenever i quarrel with my sis and bro, they'll all seek to hurt and spite (who doesn't in a quarrel) and one of e things they always turn to is e fact i'm from raffles. then they'll say something along e lines of "so u're from raffles tink u're so smart la!! damn rude tink u're damn clever" and stuff like dat. so freaking disgusting right?? such a low down and cheap thing to say just for spite.

aiya nvm shall sleep early, cos i'm tired. nothing much to do if i can't play games anyway. i wonder wat really makes me not want to make my sis pissed. e moment she raises her voice something just snaps... maybe it's habit (lolz must tell u guys how i was tortured when i was younger). so somehow i end up listening to her... and feeling really guilty if i don't. for my bro i'm quite ready to disagree with him... good and bad for dat also i guess...so strange huh one elder bro one elder sis but two different connections. so quarrels with my bro are usually more frequent but more light... while with my sis is really quite rare but e quarrels run deep... memorable ones. i had a 2-week cold war with my sis once...

sigh well tink i've said enough... so much which ought not to be said i probably spilled out but it's for e best? lolz even if it isn't just letting u guys know, plus i'm recording my feeling and thots. oh well.

!!! gasp!!!

2006-01-18T11:27:00.000+08:00

Yo. Yes i did not go to school today. had a terrible tummy upset and ended up sleeping forever. just woke up. And strangely, i'm feeling worried about what i'm missing out in the lectures/tutorials.. bahh all four subs today. So gonna die for geog. But i'm going to school later for odac and the interact interview =D yay! So see classmates = die a horrible death. oh but see teacher never mind lar.. they dont even recognize me. So its hmm... ok. But my whole day's just wasted away like that. 4 hours of lessons. poof. and i know nuts about any of them. SCREWED

woot

2006-01-17T21:18:00.000+08:00

Hey cool!!! Haha so glad that u like lit too! And guess what, ms ng's my gp teacher lol. She looks so nervous! Lol.. but yep she's so nice loh! I'm doing great expectations and that anthony and cleopatra or something shakespeare book for lit. Watched the great expectations movie before so i'm really happy to do it as my text text cos it's very nice marr. Pride and prejudice z.. i kept asking wy and tong to watch with me both forever dont want. Now it's like.. almost not screening already right? bahhh if u wanna watch tell me okkk =D.

Just got home.. waited with tong for wy to finish his sailing training. Oh yea, tong and i passed the cybergaming trials. wy and yz should've passed too loh.. it's like they're so much more superior than so many of the people there but don't know why they didn't get in. Better appeal for them next week. And there's the interact interview that i've got tomorrow. Ouch.. hope it won't be too tough.. since i genuinely wanna join it to help people and not like some spastic shits who only want to make their.. portfolio or resumes whatsoever look nicer. Shameless sluts. hope the interviewers see through them.. and chide them for being so shitty.

OK! Go do other stuff liao. ciao!

mega drained...

2006-01-17T19:25:00.000+08:00

waa finished at 5 today. had my first lit lesson. luckily PE today was indoors and it wasn't some 8-round run or wateva if not i would have just ko-ed for my lit lesson. anyway my lit teacher is ms ng e-ching... she's from china if i'm not wrong has an accent but her english is mega pro... wth her vocab stuns all of us. ever heard of e word 'mordant'? wth is that?!! she's damn pro. besides, she's rather funny and cool too... she understands ppl sleep in class and won't get angry. she allows eating in class. plus she admits she probably won't catch ppl who sms in class cos she's unobservant. she writes competition-standard chinese calligraphy plus she has a parrot named 'koro'... which apparently is a disease that older men get that makes something smaller. -.- quote from her handout:"Hell knows no fury like a teacher whose lesson has been scorned. A white slip and much wrath will descend upon the absconder with lightning speed." bleh lit teacher indeed.

first lesson. we got a diagnostic essay, an ongoing poetry portfolio, literary vocab notebook, and a chunk of info on our scheme of work this year: othello, pride & prejudice and poetry. it seems really fun but really heavy too... but yea definitely e most interesting subject i've had so far... along with KI. gosh so my two fav subjects are lit and KI, if i discount e apprehension of e immense workload coming along with it. wat kind of career do u tink i'll take up if my fav subjects are lit and ki? philosopher!!! waaa i come up with a new kind of governmental policy (solomon really did this for his philo essay u know... he dubbed his new theory Solomonism. something which involved him being king or something those lines. rather convincing argument...) and rule alongside with Brilliant and Genius. LOLZ wat am i talking about... spouting nonsense.

but seriously... dono if i'll be able to cope with so much work from lit. and all my lit lessons are at 4... which make my tues and thurs end at 5 which really sucks. but somehow if i get thru all this... i'll probably be the proudest of my work in lit and ki. things that i'll wanna keep will be stuff that i did in these two subjects... ahh determination!!

bleh ben goh i'm so relieved that at least u think along e same lines as me... even tho my imagination is so much more incredible. u dream of being an actor in a show... i imagine being a character in a fantasy novel. with magic to command!! dragons to ride!! swords to fight, creatures to talk to... wat others are there. shallow? definitely not. (maybe i'm disagreeing only cos i feel this way also but i'll argue from a logical point of view ok?) to be so practical, mature and so grownup (especially if its for image alone), to give up childhood joy and thrill from imagination and fantasy, to shun the flutterings of exhilaration when we see something so beautiful yet so impossible... now dats shallow. our imagination is e limit yea? practicality's e one holding us back from utopia.

anyway to more concrete stuff... i was so tired today. and so thankful for the ppl who just were there. to talk to me, eat with me, walk with me to the bus stop... when i ate with someone, e time just seemed to pass and i was refreshed. when i walked e dreaded long walk in e drizzle to e bus stop opposite j8 with someone, it suddenly seemed much nearer and more manageable. suddenly, when i was so tired out by e day, e small nice things that ppl do become so much more obvious and i really appreciate e little things so much more.

in conclusion, 7 hours of lesson = headache. lolz expect to hear this kind of bitching every tuesday.

illusionment.. condoned

2006-01-16T22:58:00.000+08:00

Yo.. Just got home! Caught Family Stone with tong and wy at cathay. It's a really nice flick ... yes i just totally indulge and enjoy such love flicks with unrealistic romances that always without fail conclude with a happy ending. It's really nice to have a bit of fantasy and fiction in our .. troubled busy world of work and more work. One of the greatest dreams that i always have.. is to lead a life like those shown in the movies. All the excitement.. adventure.. fun.. sadness.. joy.. that constantly one's life so interesting and meaningful. Honestly, i feel very sad whenever i think about my life right now, though it is getting more exciting. Guess it's because i lack the security of knowing that everything will end as perfectly as it has been planned. The happy-ever-after element. Haha.. getting all bluezy suddenly.

Well well.. Am i the only one who wishes to lead the life of an actor in those films? Seems highly shallow of a literature student that i am to indulge in such utopian fictitious world of fleeting clouds.. but still.. who can resist such precious beauty? The main actor of my movie.. a brilliantly captured.. film of my life. Of joy. and of course, love.

GP class

2006-01-16T21:42:00.000+08:00

First of all i must say: MY TIMETABLE ROXXOR! Seriously this is the overview of the daily time at which i am dismissed from school.

Mon: 2pm
Tues: 3 30pm
Wed: 1pm
Thur: 12pm
Fri:4pm

Nice rite!? I think it is pretty balanced.

Now to get to the main topic: today we had gp for 1 and 1/2 hrs in the morning first period. And the teacher is a relief teacher who is super anyhow. He did not teach at all, spent the whole morning playing ice breakers.. lol there was this ice breaker where we had to sit in a circle and talk about our dreams and aspirations. And i sat next to jeff. When it reached our turn, jeff said " we have a common dream" (the teacher went "u both gay ah?") Then i followed on and said " we want world peace" :D corny rite hahahaha....

Then i ate in class in front of his face though i tried to be a little discreet and he didn't say a thing. (Abusing his kindness) He was from chior and tends abit to the u- know kind of ppl.. but pretty funny... not one of the boring lecturers ... overall the lesson was quite fun lah..hahahaha...

oh my gosh tmr sux... dreading tmr. ugh.

2006-01-16T18:04:00.000+08:00

wth la... i have 7 periods tmr!!! -.- 7 hours. two lectures 4 tutorials and PE. zz wat a tiring day ahead. zz why is my lit lesson always at the 4 o'clock slot. dat sux man. totally. and my PE is at 2! wth wat they want us to do?! starve, faint and die arh. baakas all of em. rather sick timetable man...

lolz bitch forever. finished at 11 today but waited for e class until 12 for lunch, then waited some more for ivan (lolz ben goh he's e one who always go and say hi to u for no reason at all -.-) to go home with me. bleh he said 1.30 but he finished at 2 so i was getting a little irritated already but i tink e wait more than paid off. so nice to just go home together and update each other on our lives.

anyway there's this quote i read somewhere... "i got a better bargain, because i merely lost someone who doesn't like me, but he lost someone who does like him." this is in response to uh... aiya nvm. just tot i'd reflect on it... i tot it was a true statement... but then doesn't it mean that he'd feel nothing but u'd feel e pain of loss? in a sense he lost nothing...he just never gained anything while u suffered a wound... an emptiness u're painfully aware of. dat line of thought is merely a way to mask and dim e pain. delusional. then again if an empiness can't be filled up... wat better way to cope with it than to hide it.

lolz i can imagine ppl who read this will be thinking it will be so out of e blue... while those that know where e quote came from will think that this reasoning is so harsh. sometimes i really wonder what it would be like to be simple. ignorant. bliss? yea probably. even perhaps have something close to blind faith. and lose e insight? e thinking? e questioning and e answers that come? definitely not. as radical as all e questions might be... as often as i myself am shaken by e things i ask and e answers i get, e understanding that comes really helps to make me appreciate things so much more.

my bro said (i always talk about all these kinda theory stuff with him) that ppl like me and him who indulge in all this 'philosophy' and 'theori-zing' merely do it for e matter of intellectual pride. but den if u know that it is for pride... den won't u take steps to ensure dat its for something more? for making life better? happier? more at-peace?

question yea. so many of em. scared of e answers sometimes.(lolz so cool talking everything fullstop!!! ivan said my post was so recognizable cos of all the "..." i used. lolz that one really habit le)

.

2006-01-15T09:39:00.000+08:00

Hey.. sorry bout the attendance on sat.. hope that things will turn out better after this.. Now's probably not the time for me to talk about what we did in the odac orientation. But yea.. there's the camp next weekend that i'm kinda looking forward to. Hm all the best.. you guys can make it

---

Back from jogging! Shall continue this entry. Lol.. went to Serangoon Stadium to jog with ben ho and bp this morning. After that we went to macdonalds to slack. Felt really great just.. sitting down and talking. Hmm.. my og outing's cancelled. Feeling pretty sad about it.. considering how much i was looking forward to it. Well.. many ppl couldn't make it hm.. but i feel that we could've just gone along with it.. so some can come this week and others another time but.. i guess that beats the purpose of bonding further as an og right? lol.. so difficult to accomodate with everyone's busy schedules.

Ah suang just scared me with the math tutorial and geog stuff blah. shall read them later.. ciao

saturday.

2006-01-15T08:21:00.000+08:00

started out with band prac yesterday... that was pretty much boring. the songs really sux -.- how come oura gotta choose all the weird weird song one as if we're so mature and so into music and can appreciate modern music. well for his info we can't... zz we should just play our nice songs like evergreen and can't take and nonsensical but very nice laymen songs. all e new songs arh weird tempo and weird key and bleh so lousy.

went out for section lunch after that... that was quite fun. went with the clars... got 4 girls arh... all j2s. they form 1 whole group by themselves. and they're damn loud... while we were talking to j8, they were talking and laughing and screaming in public -.- scary sia. apparently i looked like one of their brother (who's sec 1 incidentally) and so they directed their jokes and games towards me... some sort of fortune telling or wad no idea what they doing also.

went to macs to eat and i tried the rice burger for e first time... i think it's quite sucky. i prefer bread to the rice itself altho the filling is quite nice. oh and the girls... gosh picture how glen and jared gossip. the girls are wad... 10 times worse or something. when we were having lunch, they were matchmaking... "wa see this and that very pei hor!!!" "..."

after dat i went to watch movie with my og... quite a pathetic outing cos a lot of ppl couldn't make it. total of 8 out of 21 of our og went for e movie... so yep thats quite sad. we watched memoirs of a geisha... i didn't particular enjoy it... but yea can appreciate it i guess. it was an art film i think... kill-bill genre of shows... e intricate politics and stuff like dat.

then went for bmt... rather tiring but quite fun. so long nv play le... sobz lost every single game i played tho. but then ok la... at least it was fun. left half an hour early to go dinner then meet up with my sis. went to her friend's house to play mahjong. they played no money... but got use chips la. no joker also... and lolz no limit on tai... if they played money i would probably have won money again... won i 6-tai game and a 4-tai game even tho we just played until nan-feng. but their rules a bit diff la... i think every mahjong session gotta standardize the rules again one. like they have things like... if never peng or chi anything, thats one tai also. then if u get 7 pairs (qi dui hu)... thats 7 tai... but not easy to get cos everything must zi mo yourself. as i said, we stopped at nan feng and then went to eat roti prata for supper. and stayed over at her fren's house... then went back home feeling tired (and a bit sick i think)

so yep must rush off to church now. seeya guys... haven't done a single piece of work. ugh.

RJCSB --The beginning of the end?

2006-01-14T22:58:00.000+08:00

Do u think rjc band will survive?

Today only 6 ppl from ri and a couple of gals from rgs turned up. The rest of the j1s (not more than 10?) comprised of ppl from other schools, mainly dunman high, catholic high and river valley. With the numbers dwindling, do u think rjc band can be sustained? Seems like although many ppl joined band, they have other CCA commitments as well. Perhaps in a couple of weeks, more ppl will fall back to band.. perhaps not.. perhaps more ppl will leave band...Guess we will just have to wait to find out...